I run my tiny empire from a play room

I have had a hard week.
Woe is me I know.
Joe keeps asking me what I want for my birthday next month.
Instead of making me smile it irritates me as it reminds me that I am getting old.
I do have a wish though...
Joe is working on our garage this fall and at the very back is a small closet.
I want him to turn it into my office.
My girl pad.
My nook.
My room.
I want a key on a purple velvet string...
(ah wishes)


I am reviewing and giving away some fabulous items from CSN stores this season.
I am always amazed at the crazy awesome amount of coolness over there.
You can buy a bar stool at CSN. 200+ shops!
You can buy a baby stroller!
Shop till you drop!
I am going to look for items for my room of my own!
Please look for my review and giveaway on 30th of October and November here!
via ffffound

The butter melts out of habit/the toast isn't even warm

So I booked us a ballroom dancing class for Tuesday night. I see us floating across parquet floors in chiffon and tails. I really see us busting through the doors buzzed on two large pints from the local and bundled up and laughing. It will be fun. It is something I have always wanted to do and perhaps if I reach very far down into my scary little place I will also make 2009 the year I buy an old acoustic guitar and learn to play. Just a little. Just like sewing. Just enough to make me dangerous.

I love this young girl. I love her tude. She has it right?





Get me delivered to yr email xo

where somebody shines the light/I'll be coming on home tonight

Joe has been doing so much. He is pushing up against the verge of too much. We both are really, but he is truly tired lately from his own business and the wood company. I get all guilty about taking a spare few moments for me and then feel like a miserable partner.

I wish we both had a day off from real life to relax. I wish we could run away together from all the grown up realities for just 24 hours. I wish we could be in a darkish old pub in England or the sandy beaches of the Greek Isles or the Westin downtown.
I wish I had a new sheer nightthing and a bottle of Veuve clicquot.
But, I don't. I have a few precious hours in the evening and a heart that beats fast when I look at this man who does it all.
Finn believes his dad has powers and I tell him he does. He really does.

I am trying to think of small things I can do to show him my appreciation.(and remind him that although I may not be very good at showing it that I am the bomb!) I tried to treat him this weekend.
I made him Guinness Stew and it worked. He fell right into that relaxed face and was putty in my hands. This is some good stew folks. I think it may have healing properties. One thing in particular that I like is that it calls for two cups of Guinness and when you purchase a large bottle at the market it leaves plenty to drink while you cook.


I heart the Irish Pub Cookbook by Margaret M. Johnson

Get me delivered to yr email xo

You’re so pretty the way you are

I have not bought my children clothing all year.
It rocks. I love handmedowns.
I have not bought clothing for myself all year with exception of a couple T's at Target and that cute dress from Nordies that I ended up not even wearing.

I miss shopping so much, but being on a budget does not allow for it just right now.
Joe and I both need new undies though. How does it come to the place where the only decent knickers you have are those uber silly-fancy-pants-get-lucky knickers that you really do not want to wear to a meeting or preschool drop off? I swear. And my bras? Oh mercy. I promise you that I have taken to wearing a particular black bra that is yes, an old nursing bra bc it is much nicer than my daily bras. It is wretched. So we will go get some new undergarments this week and it will feel so liberating to shop!

I pretend shop all the time on my computer. Just this morning at some ungodly hour I was checking out a new blog I like and found these gorgeous dresses. Those who knew me in the day can attest that I would have rocked these frocks. I will never be small, but I do have pretty decent legs when at reasonable weight. I was a school jumper when a jumper wasn't cool. I was a mini in the days of hippie long skirts. I was a black opaque tight girl from birth. Oh I love these dresses.
I pretended that I bought all of them and packed them in my LV Speedy and raced out the door to catch a flight to somewhere fabulous. Then I made coffee and played Thomas the Tank Engine until I wanted to bash my head against the smooth wooden track.

Get me delivered to yr email xo

No one told you when to run/you missed the starting gun

I just reread A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave eggers and fell all over the floor again.Sometimes when you read a book or watch a movie does one sentence or moment stick in yr mind and flap like a flag? And bc I must be tuned into the world and have my pinkie on the pulse of the cool I see that Dave's awesome non profit Valencia store is selling these awesome pirate posters!

I loved the book, I think Eggers is a genius and really liked reading it again...but all I can think of all weekend is one of the sentences that got me...Beth and I take turns driving him to and fro, down the hill and up again and otherwise we lose weeks like buttons, like pencils.

Lose weeks like buttons, like pencils.
Oh I feel that. I feel that so much. This feeling never happened when I worked full time and ran round like a chicken with my head cut off. Shawn talked about how stay at home moms probably have more time to think. Even though I am working some from home, I do think I am thinking more. However, I am not always thinking those gorgeous thoughts that others are. I am reading how perfect the Autumn is all over the web and how crisp Fall days are orgamss and like some sort of methadone for summer. I am a bit cross that fall is here really as I think too much about another winter of owning two homes, not having a car, and how I never lost weight while it was warm and walking was an option.

Losing days and weeks nowadays almost feeds my frenzy.
I have so much to do.
How can I have just realized I have all of this to do?
To do for my life?
How did leaving my career bounce me to a place where time is like this?
I have not finished my novel (so typical) and all of the sudden I made a small company and just this week it seems like I am thinking about the future. I am thinking about how no matter how grumpy I may seem I am aware that life is here right now and you had better take a bite.

Get me delivered to yr email xo

Fill yr mind up with all it can know

As promised, Jos and I are going to award a little prize to one of the lists submitted last week…Not without first saying that this wasn’t so much a contest. Every single list that we had the pleasure of reading deserves a prize as they were all creative, inspiring, interesting, unique… Every. Single. One.
But we both immediately connected with #33 on Alexis’ list, as we too are striving to “Embrace our inner hippie.” Brilliant…
So to help Alexis with her goal of hippie liberation, we’re sending her a copy of Tom Hodgkinson’s, The Freedom Manifesto + a copy of Michael Pollan’s In Defense of Food to assist with #12 (“Don’t eat fake food”) We’re nothing if not helpful, no?

In the coming days and weeks, Jos and I will share progress on our lists and we hope you guys will all do the same. It’ll be like this big collective force of women committed to accomplishing meaningful little things with they’re very own virtual cheering section rooting them on.

Check out Isabel's list over at Alpha Mom!

Get me delivered to yr email xo

Fill yr mind up with all it can know

Friday is here and Simple Lovely and I have had so much fun with the lists! I hope I have everyone on here- I checked technorati and my comments for lists. If I am missing anyone please email me and I will add yr link promptly! If you want to send one in before the end of the weekend too you can! I am waiting still from some of my pretties who said they might- so come on if ya want! xo


These fabulous lists need to be checked out today:

Blond and Blithe
Radicool Life
Mary Loves
Shimmy Shake
Sugar City Journal
Hey Shannon Rae
Saviabella
The Other Tiffany

I loved yr lists. I loved this little project.
Now everyone please print out those lists and hang them where you can see them each day!
Thanks so much!
Kiss Kiss.

****OH MY LOVE MARY!
How could I forget you? I thought I had you on there! xo

The lovely Joslyn and Amy have created simple, inspiring, and totally doable birthday lists -- of a different sort. And I'm playing along. Here's my list of 36 things to do before I turn 37:

1. Hang framed family photos up in our hallway, gallery style.2. Go to Nantucket. 3. Don't skimp on sleep.4. Use that gift certificate we've been hanging onto for dinner in York Harbor, Maine.5. Gather up anything that I don't absolutely love in our house and in my closet and give it to Goodwill.6. Uncover the fireplace behind the wall in our living room.7. Visit Alana and Min (and my Godson!) in New York City.8. ...and, on the way down, stop in Danbury, Connecticut to visit family.9. Finally create a little desk space for myself.10. Take a photography class.11. Stop worrying.12. See a movie at our little local theater.13. Invite the new neighbors over for cocktails.14. Open an Etsy shop. A tiny one.15. Try knitting again.16. Go to Ikea at least twice: once this fall, and again in the spring. (This may seem like an odd goal. But it's over an hour each way. And sitting in the car and I do not get along.)17. Subscribe to domino magazine (instead of buying it every month).18. Learn how to turn on the DVD player. By myself. Without asking Rob for help.19. Go apple picking.20. Slow down when writing anything by hand; no more messy scrawl. (Where did my nice handwriting go, anyway?)21. Organize our digital photos.22. Keep a detailed calendar. No more ditzing out about birthdays.23. Accept that doing it myself doesn't look as good (or, last as long) and treat myself to a pedicure. 24. Cut down my Splenda use. Switch to a more natural alternative. 25. Stop procrastinating.26. Buy some exotic, coarse sea salt and figure out how to use it in our cooking.27. Get all of the fabulous prints I've collected framed and up on our walls.28. Read a book (fiction or non) that leaves me buzzing with inspiration and happiness.29. Scan old magazine clippings onto my computer.30. Stick to our budget at Christmas.31. On the first cold day of the season, enjoy a (sinful and amazing) Belgian hot chocolate at Pralines.32. Think twice before buying anything. 33. Get a library card -- and use it.34. Throw Rob a birthday party.35. Make this chocolate chip cake.36. ...This one's a secret. For now. :)


image from the delightful etsy shop boygirlparty

Get me delivered to yr email xo

Fill yr mind up with all it can know

Thursday List:
all week Joslyn and I are posting a selection of lists from our Friday adventure.
Thanks for yr gorgeous lists blissfully caffeinated, Rowena, and Jackie.

I do actually keep kind of an ill defined bucket list in my head that includes things like Go to Italy and Learn French and Write a Book. But this is not that list. This list is 10 things that I would like to do for myself before I turn 40. It’s a few years away, so I’ve got some time to work on these little tasks. (Blissfully caffeinated)

1. Do some sort of exercise other than housework on a regular basis.
2. Take guitar lessons with my girls.
3. Take a trip somewhere with my husband that isn’t work related or for someone’s wedding or birthday. That is just for us.
4. Take a creative writing workshop.
5. Cook some dishes from Julia Child.
6. Get a better camera. Take more pictures.
7. Find a pair of really comfortable flats and buy in at least two colors.
8. Improve my sewing skills. And then put those skills to use.
9. Get my teaching credential done so that I will some day have my own income again.
10. Turn off the TV more, turn the stereo on more, dance with my girls more.

27 before 28 ( jackie)

1. Start a gratitude journal
2. Plant an herb and veggie garden (I really like the Square Foot Gardening method)
3. Buy a dress pattern for the girls, learn to read it and sew up some dresses!
4. Take girls to the library at least once a week
5. Create more family rituals (Like our annual October Half Moon Bay pumpkin patch trip)
6. Learn to cook simple, fresher, healthier meals
7. Create a budget and stick with it!
8. Thrift more, pay full price less
9. Organize the girls' toys and donate at least half
10. Create meal plans every Sunday
11. Carve out more quality time with Hubby
12. Do weekly crafts with Natalie
13. Get back to reading at least one book a month
14. Recycle-I know it's awful that I don't already. My town does not have a recycling program, and I just haven't gotten around to finding out where I can recycle what.
15. Make bed every morning
16. Create a weekly cleaning schedule
17. Visit my Grandma and Aunt more, who live an hour and a half away
18. Learn to take better digital photos
19. Get over my fear of cooking for others and entertain friends more often
20. Watch an old movie at The State Theater
21. Pick fabric and sew curtains for the family room
22. Take the local community ed class on how to reupholster furniture, and bring my Nana's wing chair as the project.
23. Turn large blank wall in family room into an art wall- all with etsy finds of course
24. Go to more performances at the Gallo Center For The Arts
25. Write a weekly letter to my mom, re-capping all the little things that she misses by living so far away
26. Put little love notes in my Hubby's lunch (even though it will probably embarrass him)
27. Vote

A good thing I have a whole year to complete this!

38 things to do before 38 (November 19) (Rowena)

1. Paint a month of Flying Girls (this might actually be 30 things, but oh well.)10, 21, 35, 38
2. Schedule an artist's date with myself.
3. Get G completely off of diapers. 12
4. Get some business cards. 5, 10, 21, 33, 34, 35, 38
5. Put art supplies in the new cabinet.19,
6. Set up a nice workspace in my bedroom. 19
7. Sort kids clothes into keep/toss/store/giveaway
8. Get a long sweater/cardigan 32
9. Get some ballet slippers at target.32
10. Buy new paints and paintbrushes.
11. Write 25k words in my new novel (for nanowrimo).
12. Write an outline for my new novel (in October)
13. Figure out Flickr.
14. Go trick or treating with the kids. (I hear my neighborhood is Halloween central.)
15. Have a Halloween Party on October 18 (a Fanciful Twist. Awesome blog!)
16. Listen to music more often.
17. Take a walk to the beach with the kids.
18. Collect (steal) sand to make a mini sandbox for the kids to play with.
19. Make a holiday plan (including gift lists and plans for making stuff.)
20. Put ten paintings on my etsy shop.
21. Get a learner's permit.
22. Get a scanner/printer (either the one from storage, or a new one. Or get comfortable using my uncle's.)
23. Clean and purge bedside tables.
24. Start inspiration file/board.
25. Make play dough with the kids.
26. Make rice krispie treats.
27. Get some sculpey and make stuff.
28. Straighten out paypal account.
29. Make small and heartfelt public. (Not ready yet, so no link.)
30. Post one of my poems.
31. Host a giveaway32. Make a Flying Girl with my Alice in Wonderland.
33. Do some ATCs/ACEOs.
34. Connect w S.
35. Get a project going with PK. (PK, if you're out there, we've got to get off our rears.)
36. Start making Christmas presents.
37. Write up a business plan.
38. Post this list.

pic from flickr stream er3465

Get me delivered to yr email xo

Fill yr mind up with all it can know

Wednesday List:
all week Joslyn and I are posting a selection of lists from our Friday adventure.

Thanks for yr gorgeous lists Schmutzie and This Eclectic Life

Thirty-Five Things I Want To Accomplish Before I Am Thirty-Six Years Old (Schmutzie)

1. Have every last bit of laundry done all at the same time just once.
2. Join a yoga class without anyone I know in it and not give in to my anxiety about group activities.
3. Floss my teeth every day.
4. Write more poetry.
5. Exercise at least every other day, even if that only means shaking my butt to music while doing the dishes.
6. Properly schedule my writing and other creative tasks.
7. Do a minimum of one kind thing for someone else and one kind thing for myself daily.
8. Go to my gynecologist every six months like I am supposed to, because I should know better after having cancer.
9. Go to the dentist in spite of my terrific fear at the mere thought.
10. Eat when I am hungry.
11. Become a published author in a book - you know, those things that have printed text on paper.
12. Lose some of my toaster-related fear. It is not a malevolent appliance. Really.
13. Get a better camera.
14. Publish a book of my photography in conjunction with my x365 pieces.
15. Eat more vegetables and fruit as though they are not chores to be trudged through.
16. Clean out our closets and shelves of all the detritus that clutters our living space.
17. Finish knitting projects, both old and new.
18. Hang more of my photography around the apartment.
19. Reclaim and nurture the creativity I have irresponsibly been allowing to drift.
20. Listen to more music.
21. Read more books of all kinds.
22. Sit on a beach with my feet burrowed into cold sand in the shade.
23. Get past my hatred of the flub under my chin.
24. Go to more art galleries.
25. Learn to cook a wider variety of dishes and enjoy doing it.
26. Create my own art.
27. Do what I say more often.
28. Get a tattoo.
29. Have sex more often, because I will die one day.
30. Learn to crochet.
31. Celebrate more, just because.
32. Allow in people who want to know me.
33. Learn meditation and welcome it as a daily practice.
34. Feel less guilt. I cannot be a robot, so I should put that aspiration aside.
35. Get a new couch.

So, since I’m going to be 55 next year, it’s a long list! I have to list 54 things I’m going to do before my birthday. I apologize in advance for being so old.
54 Things To Do Before I Turn 55 (This Eclectic Life)

1. Remember to look at the list.
2. Choke down oatmeal twice a week, because it’s good for me.
3. Drink a glass of red wine each day, because it’s good for me. Maybe I can dowse the oatmeal with the wine to make it more palatable. Or not.
4. Give my husband spontaneous foot rubs (foot rubs are good for the solesoul).
5. Stop making bad puns.
6. Leave sticky notes all over the house to remind my husband to give me “spontaneous” foot rubs.
7. Take time with my cats each day to just play.
8. Learn from them how to be completely lost in the moment.
9. Learn from the cats how to be totally relaxed. No one relaxes better than a cat.
10. Take as my motto: “If you think you can, or think you can’t, you are right.” I don’t know if I can do that, but I’ll try.
11. Give someone a hug every day.
12. Remember to use deodorant before I give out hugs.
13. Have a party…for no reason at all but just to celebrate.
14. Remember birthdays…not mine, but other people’s. Maybe even do more than remember, and get the cards in the mail.
15. Finish the five remaining afghans for Share A Square so I can call it a “wrap.”
16. Stop making bad puns.
16. Get all the medicine bags and charms for the Good Medicine Project.
17. Answer all my comments from this month and stay caught up with the answering.
18. Don’t beat myself up if I don’t get them all answered.
19. In fact, stop beating myself up, but give myself affirmations, because “I’m Good Enough, I’m Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!”
20. Re-read To Kill A Mockingbird and savor every delicious word.
21. Learn to use this polymer clay I bought to make beads and stuff.
22. Turn on the music and dance every day (when no one is looking).
23. Remember to shave my legs, even though I’m not going to show them to you. It’s just gross when you can braid your leg hair.
24. Use my Nordic Track for exercise instead of as a clothes rack.
25. Laugh uncontrollably every day at 10, 2, and 4 instead of drinking Dr. Pepper.
26. Go to Austin to see the bats.
27. Get new glasses because I’m blind as a bat. I’m seeing double double.
28. Finish painting the closets.
29. Call a few friends I haven’t talked to in ages and remind them that I love them.
30. Don’t be Scrooge at Christmas this year, even though Christmas decorations in August makes me see red.
31. Stop making bad p…
31. When Depression tries to strangle me, fight back.
32. Keep my chins up.
33. Turn my frowns upside down so that I can have symmetrical wrinkles.
34. Remember to water the plants. My money tree died. No seriously! I had a money tree and I killed it. Daddy always said I was hell on money trees.
35. Write five new ghost stories, because I’m sick of my old repertoire.
36. Pretend I am going to get jobs where I can tell the new stories.
37. Lower my cholesterol, so I never have to hear another doctor say, “How are you alive?”
38. Stop procrastinating. At least, think about it.
39. Break rules.
40. Figure out what the rules were that I broke.
41. Apologize to all concerned for the rules I broke.
42. Don’t break the rules about speed limits, especially if the Highway Patrol is in the area.
43. Take time for long, hot baths. I’m clean! But, I take showers and baths are more fun.
44. Sort through all the papers I have accumulated and actually throw some of them away.
45. Don’t get them back out of the trash can.
46. Take walks barefoot in the rain.
47. Make sure it isn’t freezing rain. Get a pedicure afterward.
48. Take occasional naps (after I tie up all five cats and stash them in the garage).
49. Write more haiku poetry.
50. Give myself permission to take artsy-fartsy photographs.
51. Don’t expect that everything I try will be perfect the first time out. Even Einstein didn’t make a perfect light bulb the first time.
52. Remember that Einstein didn’t make the light bulb…Edison did. Well, they both started with “E.”
53. Never, never never say “goodbye” to my beloved husband without telling him, “I love you.” You never know….
54. Exhale.

The yummy photo is from Schmutzie's awesome Etsy Shop!

Get me delivered to yr email xo

Fill yr mind up with all it can know

Tuesday List
all week Joslyn and I will post lists from Friday's adventure!

Thanks for yr gorgeous lists Liz & Modern Eve

A List (Liz)
The smart & always-inspiring Amy at doobleh-vay (along with new-to-me but also inspiring Joslyn of Simple Lovely) has issued a challenge that I find enchanting. It's to make a list of small, meaningful things that we hope to achieve in whatever time period we want. Here's my list for the next 12 months.

1. Finish Keri Smith's 100 things
2. Make a quilt for Dash
3. Make Mark Bittman's No Knead Bread
4. Shop local next summer
5. Celebrate Winter Solstice in a meaningful way this year
6. Walk more
7. Take myself to the movies in the middle of the day
8. Reach out to my neighbors (I have a plan for this that involves "no pressure boo bags")
9. Walk away from a mess
10. Take Dash to the snow
11. Grow tomatoes. And squash. And peas.
12. Go camping
13. Stop at every lemonade stand I see. This will require keeping cash in the car. If you knew me you would know this is a challenge.
14. Go to the park more often
15. Get a real basketball hoop for Dash & Josh
16. Attend the local production of the Nutcracker
17. Watch Lance Armstrong ride through the streets of my neighborhood
18. Find a really, really great bra and buy 20 of them
19. Finish having my tattoo removed
20. Count my blessings every day
21. Elect a new president (I guess that's not small, but my part in it will be)

25 before 26 (modern eve)
1. Cook a turkey
2. Take ballroom dancing classes with husband
3. Create a piece of mixed media art
4. Have a garage sale
5. Run a 5K
6. Enter an essay contest
7. Refresh my Japanese
8. Convert old home VHS to DVD’s
9. Plant an herb garden
10. Create Europe scrapbook
11. Spend the entire day with my nieces
12. Teach a marriage education course
13. Golf with girlfriends
14. Have my Grandma teach me how to play bridge
15. Get a library card and use it
16. Do a completely anonymous random act of kindness
17. Take my hunter’s safety course
18. Design my mom’s business website
19. Finish re-upholstering slipper chair
20. Make family chickey-soup recipe on my own
21. Have neighbors over for dinner
22. Learn how to give a good massage to husband
23. Read an non-fiction book
24. Collect and donate old dresses
25. Bake homemade bread
what would make your bucket list?

Photo from the divine Alicia Bock! Swoon!

just afloat on the sea/find myself on a page of history

My Joe loves the "Carry On" films. He loves them so much he has to own the box package special editions and such. They remind him of home, of his childhood he says.
They are so British he tells me.
like Monty Python or the queen or HP Sauce
The films were first made in the late 50's and ran through the 80's. They are full of innuendo and parody and sauciness and are really quite hysterical. The Brits pride themselves on their humour (and they spell humor like that)and these cult classics are shining examples of this.

Joe says that Christmas was so marvelous because all the family would sit round and watch all the films on the BBC.(That BBC, I think he loves it more than me... it is like a person- like a real live person how he talks of it. THE BBC!)

anyhoo...

I am thinking of scratching one of the items off my list soon by having a "Carry On" party.
I want to invite a few folks over and screen one of the films while having fish and chips or a "Ruby Murray" (cockney for curry) and some Newkie Browns.

I want to watch Joe laugh and laugh with his whole body. I want to hear his accent come through thicker and stronger like it tends to when he drinks beer or is around other Brits.
I want to notice his accent as I daily do not after a decade.
I think it is still warm enough in the evenings to bring the projector outside and have this party! I am off to make another list.
kiss kiss

and check back all week for lists from other fabulous folks who are playing along with me and Jos. Get yrs in soon! xo

Get me delivered to yr email xo

pics from the BBC of course

Charlotte sometimes dreams a wall around herself

So when writer Jane Daniels Lear tells me in this month's issue of Gourmet that a Charlotte Mold "is arguably one of the most alluring pieces of culinary equipment in the world." I want one.

I am smitten with it's sweet heart handles and the fancy idea of piping ladyfingers onto baking sheets and really impressing my family and friends this holiday season. I was once at a party with fancy Charlotte de Pommes, but I didn't eat any because well at parties I tend to just drink. But that is neither here nor there.

Um, I really think I just want the fancy pan with heart handles.
Why can't I just admit it.
It's lovely.
It was made for a queen.
I would put fruit in it.
I would use it to carry things to dinner parties.
It would hold my keys on the counter...

Get me delivered to yr email xo

Looking back at the years gone by like so many summer fields

IMG_6916, originally uploaded by charlotte wales.

I found out about Giffords Circus over at the Sweet Emma's.
Those British-they are so freaking charming and delightful.

I don't know what I love most...the eclectic artful show, the fact you can dine on local and organic food at post circus dinner party, or the amazing amazing truth that you really still can run away with the circus. You can- look here. How freaking dandy?

I wonder about these folks and their lives. Oh to be able to follow them around for a month and tell their stories. I wish!

pics from bbc.com

When every single word makes sense

That photo is one of the many many
hung up in my local Starbucks
today...customers coming in to say goodbye.

Our local Starbucks is closing. Cutbacks. Blah Blah Blah. It was one of the best Starbucks ever!The folks were amazing and I swear to God they all liked their job and worked with such style and passion. They were master Barista's!
I am serious.
It was my haven, our little escape from the day.

Shame on you Starbucks.

Wasn't yr slogan "Let's meet at Starbucks" or something last summer?
Well- why close the cafe and keep the drive through open in my town?
let's roll up and meet at the freaking drive through for a coffee shop experience? Whatever.

I am sad and I didn't even want to love you when we moved here. I wanted my old local fair trade place. But ya know what? It wasn't all about yr roasting brilliance that made me suck from the teat. It was those fine folks who knew my name and were genuine and kind. It was about those folks we really did come to know over the froth.

Get me delivered to yr email xo

You keep saying you got something for me

black wellingtons, originally uploaded by meredith m. grant.

Dear self.
When you start to make some money from this freelance life you can have some Hunter boots. When people start buying yr wood like mad you can have them in red and black. You can. You must wait now.
Just for a bit. Be patient.
It's hard to control yr lust.
But you must.
kiss kiss

Size 11 like a drag queen if yr listening Hunter wellington company.
size 11.

But if you try sometimes you just might find

Finn started soccer last night. Joe and his pal Will are coaching the team. It was a night we looked forward to for a long time. Finn could not stop talking about soccer and his team and the majestic wonder of it all. I feel like he is more like me than I want him to be. Sometimes I think Finn pumps up something in his mind to such a high power that it cannot ever measure up in reality. He is like me- trying to get directly to the denouement of a situation without unraveling and experimenting with the complexity of it all- without a true catharsis.

It could have been all the sugar at the birthday party prior or the little sleep or the sharing of his dad or any number of conditions that made him weep and cry and act more like a baby than a big boy across that massive soccer field last night. It could have been anything but it really embarrassed me. It broke me down a little in front of all the other families I think.

I had told my good friend Angie as we sat on the blanket in the field prior to the practice that I thought she was type A in a good way and she replied quite quickly that she thought I was rather type A as well. I think I might have huffed for a minute but then I realized that she was most likely correct in her assumption. But I wasn't always like this.


I wish she would have known me before I lost all my invincible skin and before I had kids. I hope that all my old friends can still squint there eyes and see me unafraid and charging at life. Those days are really far away sometimes. Days when not much would shake me or get me down. Days when problems were like math- not real. Days when I knew exactly who I wasn't. Days when I would think nothing of smoking a joint or spending the whole day writing one perfect poem. Days when I really didn't care what others thought. Like at all. I keep writing affirmations on my chalkboard, but they are not working.
Is there a procedure to remove this type A lesion? Anyone? Anyone?

Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings

What is rolling round my mind today:


Right off the bat I am so delighted that one of my favorite women is back to the blog. Mackink is back and I am delirious. I love her and imagine her my fancy cousin. We will sip something in Paris someday together. I just know it.


And then it is well known that I am a creative nonfiction junkie and I was so delighted to hear that Alice Bradley is included in this new book. This is a big deal. Huge. And although I don't know Alice very well I am even more in love with her than ever. Holy cow to be included in a Lee Gutkind book! It is one step closer to NPR baby. (my dream in life/ Amy Turn Sharp/ NPR essay contributor)



And then there is sweet Jos. I mean take a look at her gorgeous house over on Design Sponge. She has been in Cookie before with her stylish pad, and I just drool. Before I met her I thought she was perfect. And then I met her and she affirmed my suspicion. She has two little girls under four and a clean and stylish house...if I didn't love her I would have to hate her. She is my pick for design maven of the year.

And lordy there is Avesta's beans and rice. I grew up eating this as a side dish over at her home and all these years I thought there was some sort of clandestine Kurdish spice that her mother had smuggled into the country that made that simple dish taste so heavenly. Nope- she gave me the recipe and we feasted last night. I think the memory of the dish does not stand alone and that is the reason I held it so high. I think it blends with all of the amazing Kurdish food form her home and well anyway, I can make it now! and so can you . Here.


I have also come to the conclusion that Whipup.net works super hard and gives us great tutorials and round ups. My pals ask me how I am so creative and I always tell em- Kathreen!
Hat's off to you Kathreen! I need to tell you how much I love ya!


I can't not talk about how much I love Legs Bell. I mean Gwen Bell. I have been learning form this gorgeous young woman a lot about the internets :) and social media and passion lately. She doesn't know it bc I suck at telling folks enough at how inspiring they are- but she is. She is.


And then there is the whole big sad thing that hangs over everything nice. I keep reading about Stephanie from nieniedialogues and how her and her husband were involved in a terrible plane crash. They have four small children and are suffering in critical condition at Maricopa Burn Center. I feel the same way as Kate when I think about being burned on over 80% of yr body. I cannot put this in my mind, spin it, and make it ever seem right. I cannot. Design Mom is doing a terrific thing. Please participate. This blog world is powerful when it all works together.

On Thursday I will have a cool something up for auction too! Come back and check it out? Check it out and say a prayer today for them:

Get me delivered to yr email xo

I'll follow you/When the stars go blue

The Perseid meteor shower happens this week. I seem to come back again to a cyclical thought pattern around this time of the year. I am crap with my memory. I tend to forget large chunks of time, but luckily I am life long friends with Michelle who can tell me the color of shirt I was wearing on May 15 of 1992 if I questioned.
However, I always recall the meteor showers. It seems that no matter the state of my life during any particular late summer, the the Perseid meteor shower makes it all better. I am planning on waking up Finn this week so he can see it. I know this may or may not have a good outcome, but it is important I think. Because from what I read about next year, a last-quarter moon will be super bright and make it more difficult to see the Perseid's. I can't see him having to wait until he is 6 to see this amazing show.

Finn is announcing all sorts of facts to us lately:
A star is a large ball of gas (yes)

The Earth is our planet and it is the biggest in the universe.
(well, actually not )

I will go to space camp (oh really?)

Stars are so twinkly and tiny.(tiny?)

Sometimes he asks me questions that I have not the answers for. I don't know about Pluto apparently. I am thankful for the library. We talked lofty today at breakfast. We talked about Copernicus and the sun. It was all too much for him so we played Thomas the Tank Engine instead.
After a bit he asked how we know how big and far away these stars and planets are bc there are no maps and as hard as he tries he cannot reach up and touch one.

(Even on his red plastic chair in the backyard)

I agreed that this was tricky. I told him that there are smarty pant math people out there who make up math puzzles that tell us these things. As I was talking I realized that to Finn it all must come down to faith and believing in what I am telling him.
So, I gathered him up in my arms and explained that although there was no map that we could hold in our hands that charts the distance between or the size of our hearts...that we just knew it was a direct line and that they were massive when they beat for each other.

And even if we are very far away from each other-
although they might seem small and far away- our hearts- are really quite enormous and always within reach if you believe.

Kinda like the stars for a four year old...

Get me delivered to yr email xo

In that tenderness I am floating away

We let the boy stay up late last night. We are pretty strict about our 7:30 bedtime round these parts, but there was something about the heat of the day and how it slithered into a remarkable evening that loosened me.

There was something about how patient he had been with mom and dad working all day at home. There was a good vibe and so we told him he could stay up to see the lightening bugs and stars. He fully appreciated it.

The fireflies were magical and his mouth formed perfect circles and his eyes were so very wide. Although it broke my heart that he could not remember last year's bugs.
These are amazing he said.
It also broke my heart that I have discovered he cannot remember our old house.
His old room. The place we started.
Were you really so little only last year Finn?

He could hardly brush his teeth or make it to his bed fast enough and he cried and cried simply because he was exhausted, but I didn't feel too bad about jacking up his circadian rhythm. He had a sparkly time, a perfect shiny night this summer. And I was a mama magpie swooping down and taking that glimmering moment and tucking it safe in my mind- safekeeping a memory for all of us.

Get me delivered to yr email xo

A release from the humid press of days

We have been very lucky to have met many cool folks in the year that we have lived in this town. I remember driving through this area a few year ago and stopping at the local post office. It was like Brigadoon and shit. My local post office was crusty and mostly had an air of grump. This post office had donuts out on a table and smiling people. I always remembered that. I always thought that the town seemed really old school and Norman Rockwellish.

I never thought we would live here. Well, anyhoo we do now and it pretty much is living up to that fancy imagery in my mind. When we walk around we always see someone we know and all the local stores (many independent ones!!!) have characters in them that we have come to adore. Ms. E from the local copy shop has become one of our dearest. She hands out wisdom and taffy with ease and we seem to find an excuse to go in at least once a week. She gives me scrap paper and took me aside yesterday and told me that I had inspired her to create paper art and products with scraps too. She lifted a box and showed me beautiful To-Do lists pads she had made. There was energy between our smiles.

She also showed me something amazing in the basement. There are these old printing presses down there just collecting dust. She shared with me that she would love to learn how to print. My eyes were super wide and of course I told her that I had always wanted to learn too. We started making grand schemes and dreams and business plans in about 32 seconds. Isn't it great when you forget about reality for a moment and just dream?

Well, of course we have come back to earth now. Me and the boys went over today and bought some office supplies and talked. The man who owns the presses would sell perhaps, but just maybe we could learn how to print here and then do some printing and see what it is all about. Perhaps I could call her or her and inquire bc I know they are hip to it all. Perhaps you should do as many crazy things in life as you can. I still regret the fact that I left all those paper making frames in Athens, Ohio. I was going to start a handmade paper company 15 years ago. Whoops.

Get me delivered to yr email xo