I know it's crazy.

"Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody's around – nobody big, I mean – except me. And I'm standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff – I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That's all I'd do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye, and all. I know it's crazy, but that's the only thing I'd really like to be. I know it's crazy."
-jd salinger


I am all hopped up on Salinger today.

I mean don't you remember when you read it for the first time and you were like 14 years old and you spread out on your twin bed all day long and drool came off your lips and you got up only to eat and pee and when it was finished you shut the book and your brained popped like light bulb crackles and you slept for America?

There’s not even room enough to be anywhere

I rarely have a post in draft status. (like 4 in all the years)
but it happens sometimes when I sit down at lunch and life goes wonky and I lose my time....
My friend went to a reading by Michael Chabon last night and I went all kinda fangirly on her telling her to send him swoony love from me.
I told her I loved him so much (and his cool wife) that I had written about him on my blog.
I kinda lied I guess.
I meant to write about him on 7/6/10.
I sat down and started but something must have happened.

(OOOO and by the way-I had a beer last night with my friend and she said that he wrote me a little note and she has it.)

I do lead a semi-charmed life...

Here is what was in draft:

I watched "Wonderboys" the other night.
I love this movie. (and novel) I forgot about it.
I knew me some Grady Tripp's back in my day.
The soundtrack is ace and I love the characters.
Chabon is a great novelist and I love all of his work but this book just speaks to me.

of the creative process
of being lost in the thick of things
of a place where people hang in limbo
of where art can drive folks
of wanting

Just really interesting and important big thoughts to me.
And then there is the movie. LERV it.

Henry Miller hanging round the toilet

In my bathroom I have a copy of Henry Miller's The Colossus of Maroussi sitting around.
I have been reading the first sentence several hundred times lately.

I would never have gone to Greece had it not been for a girl named Betty Ryan who lived in the same house with me in Paris.

I like thinking about the way the world works.
How life unfolds.
I also would have never have gone to Greece had it not been for a compulsive liar yet interesting boy I knew when I was in college.

There are so many I would never have________ had it not been for__________ in our lives.

Who's yr Betty Ryan?


photo via ffffound

on meeting cool people while drinking white wine spritzers

Blogging is pretty cool for loads of reasons, but I LOVE meeting people through this platform. Back in December I met Stacy Morrison at a cocktail party in NYC for the Kirtsy book launch.
I thought she was fabulous and interesting and smart.
I had not clue she was editor in chief of Redbook magazine!
She was telling me about her upcoming book "Falling Apart in One Piece" and I promised to read it. I have just finished it and I asked her for a little Q&A and a book (autographed) to give to one of my readers.

reviews of the book:

“I loved the tone of this honest, thoughtful memoir: heartbreaking and real, without the slightest hint of self-pity.” —ELIZABETH GILBERT, AUTHOR OF EAT, PRAY, LOVE AND COMMITTED


“I loved it. Raw, wonderful, honest, brash, truth-telling—Falling Apart in One Piece is a story about learning to let go and come to terms with the journey of life. It is a book for anyone whose life has just taken an unexpected turn and who needs to be reminded that not only can they be happy again, but that the human spirit is capable of great resilience.” —Lee Woodruff, author of Perfectly Imperfect: A Life in Progress

What I thought:

I thought it was a moving and honestly stark glimpse in the narrative of her life.
I have had many girlfriends face divorce lately and I have watched them struggle with the rebuilding and re-framing of a life. This book seems to tell the real tale of how she did that with an inner determination and love. I think that although Stacy lives a far different life from me and some of my friends in Ohio, it is accessible as a relationship book for everyone. We can all relate to this story of love lost. It doesn't matter much that she is socially and financially elevated- she is a woman navigating some tricky matters of the heart and it reads crisp and clear. (and she's funny!) I think this is a not just a divorce memoir.

What day did you decide you were writing this book?I have read that you tried to NOT write the book- but please tell us about the moment of inspiration.

As I was living my divorce, I kept ending up at work events or cocktail parties with a small circle of people around me as I talked about the rains and the storms and the other crazy events that kept slamming into my life in those two hard years. I kept catching myself making elaborate declamations of how we do divorce wrong in our culture, and I'd suddenly stop dead, and get embarrassed that I'd been yakking my head off for 15-20 minutes about my own life. Once I just stopped and muttered to the group, "Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I'm going to become a Buddhist or a talk-show host." But an agent-my agent!-emailed me the next day and said, "I think you should write a book." That was the moment of inspiration, because I realized that yes, I very clearly did have a few things I wanted to say.

What was the hardest part of this book? Was it like reliving the pain again or more cathartic?(also tell us about being a powerful career woman and finding the time to write the book?)

Writing the book was a challenge on so many levels. I used up all my vacation for two years on writing the book, and wrote every other weekend, which meant that I was spending more time away from my son, Zack, than I had at any point in his life. Halfway through writing the book I thought to myself,"This is insane. You made it through a horrible time and now you're spending less time with your son so you can tell others about it?" I cried for two days straight, and tried to talk myself into quitting. But by then I'd written 50,000 words, so I just kept going.

How has yr ex been affected by this book- I know yr friends- but has this caused him any emotional issues or has it been great for him too?

I think the book is essentially a non-issue for my ex. He lived the story the first time around, he knew what the story in the book would be. I always say, "Well, he knows how it ends." People are always surprised he "let" me write the book, but to that I say, "Why do people simply assume that what I would have to say would be so ugly, so mean and spiteful?" That captures exactly what I wanted to go gunning at about divorce in our culture: that we are in love with divorce at its most hideous, when actually it would be better for everyone-for the partners, for the children, for people who are married, for people who want to believe in love and so forth-if we could let go with dignity, grace, and some sense of privacy and decency for the grief involved (instead of stirring up the anger).

Would you marry again?

YES! You'll be invited, I promise. What I saw and learned in my divorce was that I valued marriage much more than even I realized, I who was married. That is one of the most precious lessons I learned. I live my relationships much more gently now, all of them.

What would be advice for a friend about to get married?

Well, when I was the editor of Redbook, I published about 6,000 pieces of marriage advice, so it's hard to choose just one, but here goes: Love boldly, ignore the small stuff, and take this leap of faith with joy. Then remember to tend the joy in your marriage: seek out and schedule in the activities that make the two of you shine, the activities in which you are your best self. Even if they're childish or immature or expensive or hard to schedule or or or.... Remember to live your love every day, not just the endless list of What Has To Be Done Next that we women are so very good at curating.

What are yr plans next?

Right now, my life is very up in the air, and so I'm very grateful all over again that I lived those two years of my divorce where I had to let go of my ideas of How Life Should Go. And so I'm just listening to my instincts, trying to squeeze in extra time with my son, doing my best to promote this book that I'm so proud of, all while doing laundry and cooking meals, just like every other woman in America. I'm waiting for the flash of inspiration that will tell me what I should be doing next, and then off I'll go, on another exciting adventure! But in the meantime, I'm starting a blog at www.fallingapartinonepiece.com, along with a community forum, because the conversations this book has started have been amazing and I want to share them with others (and that was suggested to me by many of my readers!). I will always consider myself lucky to be a woman who's been able to find myself at the center of how all we women figure out just exactly who it is we're meant to be. I mean, that's all part of the fun, right?


Thanks Stacy! Just leave a comment and I will pick a winner for an autographed copy of the book. ( I will use random.org on Thursday) xo

Little Alouette giveaway

I have some giveaway fun today.

Head over to the fashionable Friday Playdate for a LITTLE ALOUETTE giveaway (I also heard there will be a copy of Sleep is for the Weak in the mix!)

AND HERE:
I want to give away a copy of Sleep is for the Weak also here on doobleh-vay as I think it makes a great gift for the mamas in yr life.
Rita was so cool to give us a couple copies to you folks!
Just leave me a comment below and good luck! It's a great book!
(I will choose Thursday at random a winner!)
xoxoxo

sleeping while smiling/pretending to be so alive

I found out about this book called SPENT via my pal Maya.
She wrote a post on it here.
I found myself thinking about the concept of being "spent" and how it applies to me right now.
It is so much a part of how I feel that I am certain when I walk out in the sun there are giant letters S P E N T that appear on my forehead and announce to the world that I am a hot mess.

I know I am tired.
I know I am busy and stressed and working too much.
I am topping that off with trying to be super mom and not let these kids down.
It is a lot and frankly my eating habits were shit this past year.
Overweight or not I am the veggie queen.
I am a very good eater. I eat very good foods for the most part.
I just eat massive volume of food! :)
This past year though I relied on take away and pizza and meals that were sub par too many times. I could feel my nutrition peel away like a skin.
I just knew it was happening, but too tired to do anything about it.

I read "Spent" and then the day after I read it Dr. Frank Lipman 's PR person contacts me and I am all thinking they have my library lending list and am freaked out! But it turns out it was random and we chatted and normally I just don't respond to PR folks in my email, but this felt different. It felt different because I asked to speak to the doctor and she made it happen. I asked to be sent some information and some products and it happened. Dr. Frank Lipman is an amazing man and HELLO I am now two degrees from Kevin Bacon as I see that Dr Lipman treats the Bacon family too!
I digress.
So the doctor is telling me things and chatting to me and I am able to ask him questions.
I like this. I feel way more involved and important in the big machine this way.
So, the book-It really makes sense. It is a lifestyle. It is a kinda detox at first, but it is a lifestyle that calls for care of the body. I know- nothing groundbreaking here, but I felt so much better only after one week of smoothie breakfast with green powder. Honest!
I like it that is has zero to do with weight and all health.
I am not going to type little lies and say my family is doing the program.
Joe and I are not following it to the letter. We are taking a lot of the information and bending it to suit our needs. We went zero processed food and no sugar the week before last. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD THIS IS? Hello agave! Hello no condiments!
It was hard and we thought we were already eating minimal processed foods.
We thought we were kicking ass and it looks like sugar was kicking our ass!
This week was not so good as one time we may have gone to Dunkin Donuts- BUT!!!!
It can be work for us- we know this.
We are using less sugar and zero condiments
(save ketchup- help people? sugar free ketchup? Is it real?)
I am unsure of how the rest of the few weeks will go as we try and work the program to fit our life. I am working on some whole body lifestyle things as I talked about a few months back .
I want to be healthier on all levels.
I think it is important to gain back yr energy as a parent and self employed person.
Most of us are sapped. Even my fit and trim buddies are working too much and forgetting to nurture. The world is out there everyday waiting to be explored and I don't want to be tired.
The doctor talks about Ubuntu. Love this- look it up.

We depend on us.
We need to be ready and able to work and parent and live.
I think that this book will give me some good ideas and some ways to step up my pep.
The Dr. is wicked cool and will take questions if you have any for him.
I plan on writing a follow up post soon about how I feel and I can post any questions then.
Just shoot me an email.

What do you feel like? What helps you? Yoga? Wheatgrass? meditation? Sleep? Diet? The laugh of yr child? Yr lover? Sunshine?

The end of the school year GIVEAWAY

Wanna give yr kiddos teacher or any teacher in yr life AN AWESOME gift for the end of the year?
I have a copy of 32 Third Graders and One Class Bunny: Life Lessons from Teaching by the delightful Philip Done to give to you!
Actually the amazing author himself will mail you or that teacher a copy this weekend!

This book made me laugh and cry. I love this man. Really. I do. He and I have been emailing for a long time now and his book really grabs you if you have any sort of connection to the education world. It will grab you if yr a parent too. If you have a heart he will open it.
I have had a lot of negativity at times in my life surrounding the state of the education system in America and this books shakes that crud right off and makes me dreamy and idealistic again for what teaching is all about and how learning can be! It makes me miss my school kiddos so much.
His honest and funny book is uplifting without being all Chicken Soup for the soul annoying.
It is the real deal and I am glad that I have it in my library.
I am also glad that I have Philip as a contact now in the world of writing and education.
He's brill!
I think this book should be given at graduation for all teachers. For Realz!
AND he's super nice! He will mail a copy to one lucky reader or teacher!
Just leave a comment and tell me something about yr favorite teacher and I will draw a lucky winner Sat morning!

No one told you when to run/you missed the starting gun

I just reread A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave eggers and fell all over the floor again.Sometimes when you read a book or watch a movie does one sentence or moment stick in yr mind and flap like a flag? And bc I must be tuned into the world and have my pinkie on the pulse of the cool I see that Dave's awesome non profit Valencia store is selling these awesome pirate posters!

I loved the book, I think Eggers is a genius and really liked reading it again...but all I can think of all weekend is one of the sentences that got me...Beth and I take turns driving him to and fro, down the hill and up again and otherwise we lose weeks like buttons, like pencils.

Lose weeks like buttons, like pencils.
Oh I feel that. I feel that so much. This feeling never happened when I worked full time and ran round like a chicken with my head cut off. Shawn talked about how stay at home moms probably have more time to think. Even though I am working some from home, I do think I am thinking more. However, I am not always thinking those gorgeous thoughts that others are. I am reading how perfect the Autumn is all over the web and how crisp Fall days are orgamss and like some sort of methadone for summer. I am a bit cross that fall is here really as I think too much about another winter of owning two homes, not having a car, and how I never lost weight while it was warm and walking was an option.

Losing days and weeks nowadays almost feeds my frenzy.
I have so much to do.
How can I have just realized I have all of this to do?
To do for my life?
How did leaving my career bounce me to a place where time is like this?
I have not finished my novel (so typical) and all of the sudden I made a small company and just this week it seems like I am thinking about the future. I am thinking about how no matter how grumpy I may seem I am aware that life is here right now and you had better take a bite.

Get me delivered to yr email xo

no not us/ we are far too young and clever

So my pal Joshua Henkin is going to give away a signed copy of his cool book.
Come over here today and leave a comment to win.
Dude- MATRIMONY: A NEW YORK TIMES NOTABLE BOOK OF THE YEAR

and dude. On the review site there is a chance to win free year supply of toilet paper!
It is a banner day.

Get me delivered to yr email xo