You gonna have to call it by a brand new name

Finnian is so dramatic.
mom- let me lie down here and pretend I am asleep and you take my picture
Dramatic but gorgeous.

Last night as I was cleaning out an old box in the basement a slip of paper fell to my feet. It was an old poem about an old friend. I have been "studying" (my gran says this instead of thinking and I love it) about this person lately and it was strange and cool that I found this. Page and I were so close in college and I miss her in my life now. We are fine and I adore her and we are friends still, but sometimes I get lonesome for her when I am writing. We were once the darlings of the writing program we attended. We were young and devilish and talented and life was insane. We ran off to Europe together to experience more life and work and write...Page went on to actually write- well at least to propel herself in the proper direction. I stayed on a tiny island afraid to write my stories. I was jealous of her and proud of her in the same moment.

I tell myself that she would be so great to have in close proximity this year as I tackle a novel. She would kick my ass and listen to me read aloud. Then I read the poem again, slower this time and laugh. We were so young. We were so just beginning our soak, our fermentation. I feel about properly aged now. I love to drift back to those times though. I love to jar my brain.

During a Christmas break at school
the winter it did not snow
my friend Page and I went on a bender
we're writers we need this
we would whisper in dirty bar bathrooms
(knowing fully that the alcoholic writer is purely an American phenomenon)
giggling searching each others eyes
for the look that meant
we were fine
things were fine
yet there was no snow and all we needed
was to lie down in it and make angels
to remember how young we were
to forget how much we knew

Im stronger than the monster beneath your bed/Smarter than the tricks played on your heart

Week five/blackboard poems
Previously Lie Poems
This morning we did a simple poetry lesson that also worked on letter recognition. Finn dictated a "poem" about the scary closet in his room.(How is this so universal?) and I wrote it on the blackboard. We read it a few times and then I asked him to pick the words he wanted to learn to "read" and he choose a few and we made a little game to play. I cut out the words and he had to find the matching word and tape it over the original word. Every time he found one he got to put a magical stone on the word.(God love sparkly shiny raised stickers)
It was simple and you could also write a famous poem on the blackboard or paper and play the game this way to introduce great poems to children.
I also found this site and nearly fell over. This is one cool place! I want many of these cool instruments!

Caroline laughs and it's raining all day

Blaise made his first picture today. He has not been interested in crayons too much.
He just wanted to eat them until today. He loves Sharpies though- who doesn't? Anyhoo he sat and made this lovely work of art with a sharpie and a crayon this morning. I am so proud.
Finn and I also refinished and old brass chandelier for entryway too. Red rocks.

It's a rainy day and I think we are gonna watch Mad Hot Ballroom and make nan bread as I slowly deprogram Finnian.
(He spent the weekend with grandparents)

But this one day/baby I can fly

We spent part of Sunday at my parents. It was easy to wander outside and explore and unwind.
The grass is greener and the space is wider and the sun always shines brighter in the country.
Always.

Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars

Good things:
New Domino Mag, homemade apple butter, and my old Strawberry Shortcake mug brought to me by my father.

Great things:
Baskets of blocks for summer festival and a phone call from Canada.


The Best Thing:
Sweet Joe.
Even during our weekend without kids he takes all the time needed to help me with my projects and dreams. Finn talks about how lucky he is lately. Lucky that he has so many matchbox cars, lucky that he lives near an ice cream shop, lucky that he is four. Over and over again.
I am so lucky too. I am lucky in this world of uncertainty and crud that every day I get to be his best thing too. I am lucky that even on hard days being with him is like the feeling you get when you hear yr favorite song. Over and over again.

Hey sista, go sista, soul sista, flow sista

Driving with my gal
on the way to see BOSSY!
The splendiferous BOSSY. ( did i just make that word up?)

Georgia was warm and gorgeous and the other bloggers rocked my world.
I like this woman and her good soul and energy.
I admire her.
I adore her.
I drank many beers and sang karaoke.
It was golden.
She ended up at our hotel and we met these dudes in the lobby and drank some Coke and talked some politics and she stayed over like a fairy book princess slumber party!
The end.

Sometime from now you'll bow to pressure/some things in life you cannot measure by degrees

Things that suck:
I did not get into Poetry Reading for festival
I will be paying off my gas bill until September
My dad lost a good friend yesterday
Blaise climbs and falls off things hourly
I am being buried in clutter at my home
I cut my toes badly on carpet tacking
Tried on shorts today and am still dealing with my thass

Things that do not suck:
I am going to see Bossy tonight
I have a query with a mag that is alive they say
I met a cool lady yesterday/local blogger
I blended ginger and honey in such a precious way today
My boys love to play outside
Hollaback Girl is on the radio

How bout you?

I'm holding on your rope/Got me ten feet off the ground

Week Four/ Lie poems
Previously Wallace Stevens Poems

In Ken Koch's second book Wishes, Lies, and Dreams he explored the use of telling lies to make poems.(I actually cannot find my copy as it is still in one of the 15 boxes of books in the basement!-Massive built in bookcases in old house/this one...NONE!)
When I workshopped this poem exercise with elementary students I would entice them to play a little game with me called "two truths and a lie". Each of us would stand in front of the classroom and announce three statements about ourselves- like:
I have lived in Europe.
I had a dog named Lucy.
I grow orchids.
We as a group would have to decide which statement was the lie.(I have no flower experience) The kids were way into trying to trick their friends! We would then start to write poems that grew from that fun classroom game. The point was to be able to "trick", but to also be able to look at their small life and think about what they might want. This sort of lie did not have a negative connotation with these kids. They sometimes would use the "lie" idea to frame a new life for themselves. They would tell us about beautiful homes, fabulous parents, exotic places, and really anything they desired.(The absence of gunshot noise)

Sometimes it is hard to admit that you really want something or that yr particular reality is not good and so this was an easier way for them to dream perhaps.
We would start with three line poems that had two truths and one lie and then they would bring it to me and I would circle my favorite line and they would write from there. Sometimes the poems were long and sometimes they made my middle class white picket fence heart break into a myriad of pieces and fall flat against the classroom floor with a thud.

From the morning/past the evening/till the end of the light

Finn has been dying to ride the city bus. He has a lot of school bus riding experience with me as I took him on several school field trips in 2006-2007 before I "retired". When we became a one truck family I thought it was time to start the public transport primer. I actually love riding the bus. People will gag now.
I think my appreciation for the bus came with the 7 years I worked in the inner city. I took my students on numerous field trips on the bus and every summer during summer school and summer programming me and at least 15 kids rode the city bus nearly every day to the downtown library. I loved all of the colorful characters on the bus. I loved seeing my students confidence with the workings of the city. I loved that someones uncle or neighbor or someone they knew was always riding the bus with us. I loved the bus drivers. (Mean Lady and Mr. Cutie and all the stories they told us... ) Those bus routes became so effortless and simple and secure. Even in the deep parts of the city where people were constantly telling me to be safe... I loved the bus.
Our weekly play date is starting to get tricky with Joe spinning into his busy busy season and we are thinking we are going to ride the bus there on Tuesday nights. I think it will be just another adventure. It is earth day today. Hurrah! I think the public transportation lesson fell perfectly on the calendar.
Finn now thinks however that I should purchase shoes like the young ladies in the above photograph. He said that she had lovely lady shoes and that I should wear them. I looked down at my shoes and hairy legs and kinda agreed with him. I said perhaps some fancy shoes this weekend babe? When daddy and mommy go out? I am so looking forward to Friday. My parents are taking the boys for the whole weekend and Joe and I are having a date. I miss dates.
At least the weather is allowing for our makeshift dating to start: Put kids to bed/drink wine out under the carport/make out

Well it aint no use to sit and wonder why babe

Dude. Finn can finally do manual labor.
Last year he would not have been able to do all this grunt work with me. We were outside at 8:30am making up for the fact we turned our backs to the landscaping and yard during the Fall. It is not perfect and will need to be finished next week bc I have had my fill of giant home improvement stores for the week. Finn announced mid mulch that he thinks he made the wrong choice today. He thought I tricked him into choosing mulch work over hanging out in the house with dad and Blaise by telling him it was so much fun to mulch.
"It is as much fun as the park!"
Tricky mummy.
Finn and Joe are now mowing at the other house and we hope to be done with all this work soon. I see a lot of neighbors working in their lawns daily-me-not so much. I think about ordering 2 tons of pea gravel from Joe's rock buddy and calling the whole thing off. Me and Finn could get rakes and wear robes and bliss out in a front yard Zen garden. We could.

And these things that we have given you/They are not so easily found

We had some Earth Day fun at the local children's consignment shop where Jack and Finn made bird feeders!
I have quietly vowed to buy no clothing this year for my boys. I spent a lot of money on nice clothing when I worked and I realize that it was crazy. Obviously I can't go out and drop loads of cash right now on clothes, but I think if I were a two income family again that I still would not. I feel like the boys are in constant state of play, movement, and art as of late and nice clothes would only hinder that motion. Hell, Finn prefers a costume to any article of clothing in his closet anyhoo. I will buy second hand this year if I need to and that is why I love the local Red Rover store. It is nice to support her shop and other families in the consignment way. I have made some cash too from selling some old clothing to her- bonus!

It's funny how everything is so relative to where you are this moment right now. My friend Tedd used to tell me this a long time ago. He also told me that I would change and grow and sprout in a hundred different directions until I knew most everything about myself. It's funny how you think about things. Are there sentences in yr head that just stick against the goo of yr mind wall and stay dormant for years- but can burst right out when you need em? It's weird how tiny moments stay so vivid. For me, it is often advice. I was quite a jackass when I was younger, but I must have had sense enough to store away some small tokens of smart from my elders. They are rolling around today in my mind.

But time makes you bolder

Today was long and sorta gritty. My house is a tip and I have so much laundry to do that it mocks me from the basement. Do you ever get sick at how many articles of clothing live with you? I have hooves for feet and my eyebrows need grooming. My to do list is long and scary and mulch needs to be purchased in the morning. Blaise has figured out how to climb on top of the kitchen table and I am tired.


My grandmothers best friend Ella died yesterday at age 99. I am sad about this. Ella and her husband were neighbors of my grandparents for over 50 years. Holy long time! They knew each other like family and I have really great memories of their home across the road. Hutch(what a bad ass name!)was a lovely chap who wore overalls and knew just about everything. They are etched in my mind as tightly as anything else when I think of my childhood and my grandparent's house. They are standing there in cotton dresses and work pants and they are watching me play.
Every month it seems like she loses someone she loves. It just keeps reminding me how old she really is and how very much I love her. I speak to my Gran at least once a day and have done so since I was 18 years old in college. The only exceptions have been when I was living in Greece or in the UK. We couldn't stop talking if we tried.

There'll be days like this my Mama said

"To be a parent is and should be a calling. There is absolutely nothing as great, challenging, or rewarding as raising a child." So says über-mom Rose Rock, who has raised 10 children in addition to caring for 17 foster children in her 40-plus years as a mother.
Mama don't play. I really liked Rose Rock's book Mama Rock's Rules: Ten Lessons for Raising a Houseful of Successful Children. I was not sure if I would like it. I thought it was going to be too much of a control/Authoritarian style from what I had heard in snippets here and there, but I was surprised and engaged with the mama advice style of her book. I was impressed with this woman and her mastery of family. Mama Rose is a true authoritative parent. She is demanding and loving and real! It is like old school in the sense that it is the kind of non- nonsense approach to rearing kids. I liked the talk of not trying to be your children's friend and just parent! Um, ya think. As we become a more and more youth obsessed culture, I think we try and befriend our children and often become permissive parents as this happens. As I read the book, I did not agree with everything, but my respect for this true gem of a mother grew with each page. The 10 vital rules were solid and grounded in reality and love. I appreciated that this book dealt with children beyond preschool. We are inundated with baby, toddler, and preschool books that rise to fame, but we don't see that many parenting bibles for the elementary and beyond crowd. I think it is crucial to have a reference as a parent beyond What to Expect series. I enjoyed the issue of tradition and families and liked that Mama Rose explained traditions can start anytime and how it is the glue that really defines and holds a family together through good and bad times. It sparked a sense of purpose and drive for me to think more about my own family traditions and rituals. Obviously the woman knows how to parent well and she shares her knowledge with warm wit and humor. I think this is a book to come back to again and again to find methods and advice on weary days. The book has a ton of good ides and simple strategies for parents. Check it out!

***I will mail my copy out to one reader. Just leave a comment and I will draw a name on Sunday night.

The flowers bloom where you haved placed them/And the lady smiles, just like mom

What We Want by Linda Pastan

What we want
is never simple.
We move among the things
we thought we wanted:
a face, a room, an open book
and these things bear our names--
now they want us.
But what we want appears
in dreams, wearing disguises.
We fall past,
holding out our arms
and in the morning
our arms ache.
We don't remember the dream,
but the dream remembers us.
It is there all day
as an animal is there
under the table,
as the stars are there
even in full sun.



I was daydreaming of 1990 today. Well, really I was just thinking about lyrics from a song I used to love and that led me to the early 90's. I was thinking about how long ago that was. I was wishing for a moment that I could go back in time on this light filled day that smells like Magnolia. I would be driving down Rt. 33 with Hannah with the windows down in that old red car and we would be singing songs like this and we would be smoking cigs and we would be drinking Arizona Iced tea and would have no idea of what the future held. We would be so free that it was almost dangerous. Yeah, these are quick moments that run through my head sometimes. At the park I could barely contain myself to get back to the house to search youtube for my song.

But whatever road you choose/I'm right behind you, win or lose

We are becoming block makers. Finn was apprentice to a sexy carpenter last night. He loved being around dad and all the sawdust and noise. It was true bonding night and he was up until 9:30pm (unheard of at our house- ask our friends...we tuck in wee ones wicked early!) Finn had a rather hard day yesterday that ended in his missing out on Tuesday play date with his buds. I could take it no longer when dad walked in the door- thank God he took away Finn's mean streak and the rest of the evening spread out against the dusk like glitter. How can dad make it all better like that? I get jealous. I could hear them talking in the bath last night as I sat in the dining room at bottom of the stairs. Finn told Joe that he was naughty bc he was bored. Grrrrrr. What does the kid want? Circus tents and acrobatics across the backyard while I spin webs with my hands and make banana bread with my feet? Oh well...Some days are diamonds. Today I let the sunshine and outside do most of the entertaining. The boys are sleeping hard bc the morning was heavy with non boring outdoor fun.

We are slowly going to start selling blocks on my etsy shop. We hope to make some toys in the summer too out of some gorgeous maple and other woods, but for now we are making blocks. They are cool and if you buy some and are a doobleh-vay reader you get a free bakers twine package if you use the code blocklove in yr order to me. Yahoo for blocks! xo

I know I'll often stop and think about them

Week Three/Wallace Stevens
Previously Friendship and Journey Poems

Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird
This poem can be a very cool poem for children to experience. How many ways can you look at something? In detail and in landscape? In a feelings way or a matter of fact description way? Vantage points? Minds eye thoughts? Encourage yr child to choose a person or an object and try to look at it in 13 ways. Older children can expand on this and look at their object in larger terms, while younger children can dictate with prompts like:
What is the color of____?
How does ____ make you feel?
Where is _____?
How does_____ look?
How does_____ smell?
How does_____seem?
Why is ________?
and so on...
Finn "wrote" a poem with prompts at each section about Blaise.
We sat and observed Blaise early this morning and wrote our thoughts down.
I am amazed at the beautiful poem that came out of Finn.

13 Ways of Looking at Blay Blay

Blaise is in his wake up time in his crib
he looks baby

getting on a chair
babyish chair

loving him with love when
he plays running game with me

eating food
Mommy's food
messy

funnyish baby boy

looking like a cat
baby meow

in the winter
good small

he is Blaise blue eyes
and purple mouth

say mama
loud and quiet
he hurts me ears

baby clothes
that look sleepy

PJ's on and watching me and you
thinking about poetry
but he is a baby

he makes me feel sad and happy
good and bad
he hits me

sweet like candy
when he sleeps

that baby is a poem

* I am thrilled to be on The Crafty Crow today! This is a GREAT site that I adore!

Now come and join the living/it's not so far from you

Finn was gifted with these adorable cards last night. They are Good Citizenship cards from EEBOO. They are really neat-o with great community, social responsibility, and manners prompts. We talked about each card and it was obvious that much dialogue could be started with these cards. I was very pleased to hear Finn speak so easily about recycling, assisting the elderly, and 911. He is listening! He is retaining!
The pack was missing a few of the issues we are tweaking and so I made one of my own to sneak into the glossy pack. I figured a visual aid along with repeated patterned noise might be useful:

Mmmmm, I feel lucky today

Winner of the contest
is MAMA BIRD! Here comes a market bag!
And because my son really really liked picking names out of a bucket...one more winner of some bakers twine from the store... LIL D!
Please send me yr addresses at amytsharp (at) gmail (dot) com
thanks everyone!!! xo

Thought is like a little boat upon the sea

Finn got a broom for his birthday and it came in a large box. (I know...he asked for a broom LOVE HIM) The box has been tempting me all week and I did not put it out with recycling on purpose. I asked Finn what he wanted to make from it and he said wings. I was thinking amazing curved painted wings and a story about Icarus. He was thinking Buzz Lightyear Star Command wings and running round the house.
He won.

We also started messing around with potholder looms last week, but I realized he is still unsure with the over/under concept at times. I am sure it is normal to become frustrated with it and the fine motor it takes. I told him we could do it another day and then today decided to make a quick under/over box tool. We just cut slits in the cardboard and pushed ribbon through the maze as we chanted the magic words- over and under a few hundred times. It was relaxing in a weird way and he liked it.

I will post the winner of the market mag
later today :)