Tuesday, February 19, 2008

I hope that someone gets my message in a bottle/yeah

I am working on being refreshed. I am giving myself a little parenting course this week. I was digging around in my old teacher boxes and found a parenting booklet we used once at an after school parenting workshop funded by our local health department. It is "Parenting Tips for the Strung Out Mom and Dad" by Ruthann Saphier. It is a whimsical little publication that gives tips and hints for a bit of parental rejuvenation. I am going to post a tool a week. I am working on the patience section as I need it terribly this week. Returning home from days of being unscheduled and completely selfish make for hard transitions back to daily life that feels stifling and a bit annoying at first. Just honest.
I am trying to remember that my sons need me to be consistent and on track for them to be able to feel secure. I am trying to give my self a bit of time out when I need it. I am trying to push my tongue back into my mouth and tie it in a knot before I yell out.
When we are in routine we are cool.
When we just try and free float a day away we get in trouble.
How do you practice patience? How do you calm the beast that lives deep inside? That little monster called unrealistic expectation. I am going to have a special tea time for the kids and me after nap. I am going to do what is most important. I am going to say I am sorry to them for being a major bitch yesterday and part of this day. I am going to get us back on track. I have the above image hung on my wall and I will make it my mantra this week. Just like back in college when I had to memorize some dumb formula or obscure fact or term- I would write it on a large white dry erase board that hung in our living area. It would just be there as I watched TV or drank beer or hung out and eventually it became imprinted. Eventually.


village mama said...

Way to ping the nail on the head or whatever that expression is... yeah, patience. It's golden isn't it? Why don't we get injected with it when our children make their way into the world? Seriously, or a tattoo with your mantra, right smack in the middle of our foreheads (not that most of us ma & pa types make time to look at our reflections).

I know I 'should' give myself way, W-A-Y more time away from them. More time outs, kind of like smoke breaks, the chain-smoker type. Oh yeah, and w-a-y more pedicures with a trashy magazine in my lap and a hot soy frappe lappe sappe by my side.

Can you tell I love this topic. Thank you for the FREE therapy. xoxo

Anonymous said...

Patience. It is something I used to have. I used to be able to react to any situation calmly.. UNTIL the I found out that three year old will be able to get underneath my skin like no other.

There are days I have to count OUTLOUD to remind myself he is a child, you are in control. It is hard. Some days quite near impossible. But on those days I remember I how to pour myself a drink.. :)

katekatenegotiate said...

we need to read "everyday blessings" together. it's all about mindful parenting. i've only gotten through about 1/3 of it and would be glad to have you read it with me so that we can discuss. by jon (sp?) kabat-zin and his wife myla, i think. get it at the library. you'd love it.

piper said...

You know what, you described my feelings to a tee. Except, I've forgotten how to be a good Mom. I used to be such a great Mom when I stayed home. Now life is one big hustle. I regret that. Such is life. I'm going to be following along for your tips.

You are a radiant creature Amy.


Joeprah said...

I got that message...patience is so funny. At times I feel I have oodles and there are times I just lose it...I think it is related to how much sleep/sex/food/time to think I get. It is symptomatic. My wife also loses her patience, but her formula is related to chocolate/her TV programs/food/sleep/bills. We all need some time off though. You rule.


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