yearly click day Blaise

Blaise.
I love you.
You are three.
I love that we are taking these yearly click photos with the amber necklace.
I love that Finn takes his with an old shirt of dad's.
I love that someday I will frame them all for you.

and what I wrote to Finnian last year applies to you:

It is making for a great growth series I think as I fast forward in my head and imagine him standing in some backyard all lovely and tall and distracted and really wanting to be done with the picture.
He will be 18 and the portraits will be finished and he will run off and not look back.
But some day when he finds his nostalgia, when he wakes up and his invincible skin has rubbed all off and he is broody for the irrecoverable past. Someday when all he wants in the world is to reach backwards to prove it was once really quite so simple and perfect- well then he will have these to remind him of his mama and all the love and hope she had for his future.
And he will smile and show them to his lover and they will hang them in their house and
he will tilt his head and wonder was he ever really that small.

Yes you were.

Thank you for being a giant sunshine on this earth Blaise. xo
We all love you.

I hope three is just as lovely as two but with less diapers

Blaise turns three years old on Monday.
I have been weepy just thinking about it.
Today my parents and my gran came for a small family birthday party.
We did potato soup, cheese balls, and cake. Yummo.
Blaise opened pressies with gusto and we all smiled a lot.
The Pièce de résistance was the yellow remote control Lamborghini from papa.
All the boys in the house went wild for it.
On Monday I will post the yearly click.
Today I just stare at the little boy with blue eyes who throws tiny arrows at my heart hourly.

The press. They're callin' me the "Big Daddy of Punk"

(originally posted on 3/11/09 -Might have been my favorite post of 2009)
Just because. GAAAAA!

On the Street....So So Punk, Worthington

Our own Sartorialist fun today





title post- Sid and Nancy 1986

cribs and gives

It's like I so forgot how to get my kid out of a crib.
I couldn't get Finn into one and now I can't get Blaise out of one.
Any suggestions?

PLEASE CHECK OUT my ALESSI giveaway on my other blog CHEEKYMONKEY PLAY

photo via love generation
I WILL CHOOSE A WINNER TUESDAY at 3pm OHIO time! xo

it just makes everything sparkle

This is my partner in crime from 8-11:05. We walk the streets of our village together. We run errands. We play cars. My moods are wild and I am working on 702 things at once and trying to read Ayn Rand again and the holidays are here almost and there is wood to be worked and so much is NOW.
But, OMG! Look at what I see.
Look from my vantage point.
Here is what I see when I look down.
He is always by my side and he is always doing this.

"Hey now, don't you tell me you don't remember me 'cause I sure as heckfire remember you."

pacifier tree, originally uploaded by harald_kirr.

This is the month I had originally thought I would start
Operation Nightmare(take away pacifier fro Blaise)
and it is perfect that I was able to reflect about it over on AlphaMom.
I am still scared to death. It is hard times. I was way more relaxed with Finn and he gave his "diddies" away to the Diddy Fairy on his 3rd birthday and never looked back, but Blaise doesn't talk very much. Blaise says a few words and is smart as hell- but I think his pacifier dependency is really making him talk much less. SO- I will let you know how it goes. Feel free to leave some of yr own hints and tips over at Alphamom and here. People need help! We all need help when dealing with hard core addictions! :)

My mom said they had to bribe me off the pacis with a "bed with a top" (Canopy Bed) that I saw in a department store- What good taste I had back then! Rock!

And how cool is that pacifier tree?

title post- Groundhog Day 1993

"Love actually is all around us."

Dude. I have a two year old and a four year old.
How did this happen? It seems like just a blink ago I was a free spirit traveling the world searching for something big. I have found it but it is like my big toe tripped some sort of freaky fast forward button on the current of life or something. Time is fast.
We had Blaise a small family birthday party yesterday.
Pancakes and Disco.
It was Finn's idea. Well, truth be told no one even ate any pancakes although my mother brought an amazing array of syrups and such. The weather was a bit wonky right before the party and we were worried family would not be able to come. (snow snow snow)
But everyone made it in time for cake and the Bee Gees.
There is something really relaxing about having a low key family party. I love having big parties and being with all my friends, but it was really special yesterday inside our house. There was mad cousin love and everyone was smiling and everyone danced. It was so warm and comfortable inside and looking out the window at the miserable weather made it even cozier. It was like the house glowed with happiness I am sure to any passerby.

But for the record- if you ask Blaise if he is a big boy or a baby he will still reply "bebe".
And I hope he is still for a little bit.

some more pics on flickr

title post- Love Actually 2003

"Old Spice. Phil says it's a timeless classic."

Blaise will be two in a few days and I went and took his yearly click today.
The same date as last year. (how sweet is he?)


I am taking a photograph each birthday with a prop so I will be able to watch them grow and to give them some cool photos in their adult life.
Finnian wears his dad's shirt in his yearly click and Blaise wears an amber necklace.
I wrote about birthday traditions and ideas last year here.
I did not make this idea up as I recall reading about a woman who dressed her baby girl in a vintage Pucci shift and took photos. She hung them on the staircase. It was gorgeous seeing her grow into the dress.
So you should do it too!
And don't fret if yr kid is a bit older and yr just starting.
Just think of collections.
Many of one thing is always cool.
No matter how many.

The Yearly Click:

1. Choose a prop that the child can grow into or outgrow for drama.
(like a dress or a shirt of an adult in child's life or a piece of jewelry or something fun like a clown nose even!)

2. Commit to keeping the prop in a safe place and taking a yearly shot on the child's birthday or birthday time frame.

3. Write the age and date on back of print! yes PRINT it out! My mother and grandmother told me to write the dates on everything and I laughed! Now I am screwed with several photos and it has only been 4.5 years with Finn! Seriously we do not remember all that we think we always will.
6 months old and 8 months old look the fricking same to me now!

4. Display them! (staircase/wall/nursery)

5. Have fun and guess what? Yr creating amazing memories for the future! Yr an archiver of lovely.

title post- My Girl 1991

"Well, I don't know; we were exploited. But they were nice about it."

Disco Baby, originally uploaded by Dave Gorman.

In 23 days Blaise will be two years old.
In the tradition of birthday parties in our house-
this will be his low key birthday.
Even with the low key family year parties there must be a theme...
Finn has chosen the theme for Blaise this year.

Pancakes and Disco.

I mean honestly...How bad ass is that?
I must start planning how we are gonna get granny in a catsuit.
Rawk.


title quote- The Last Days of Disco 1998

And the fire in your eyes/Keeps me alive

Sometimes on rainy rainy days like this I would scoop Finn up and take him to my bed and read poetry to him. Poetry that was large and big with nary a rhyme. Today is the first day I have done this with Blaise. We dropped of Finn at preschool and hurried back to the house to climb into the bed and pull quilts up and just be.

It was dark and the rain loud on the window panes and he listened to me drop spells from my mouth. Because that is what Odysseus Elytis wrote were spells...I know they are called poems, but they are more than poems to me.

The Greeks they love their love.

When I lived on Mykonos I witnessed a large jolly fisherman that I often saw at the taverna and he was crying in the street outside my work... night after night one week during that July he was stumbling up the cobblestones singing sad songs in Greek.
Drunk and sad
Crying and yelling in the narrow streets

After the third night I saw him I asked my friend about him and he told me that the fisherman was crying for his love. Apparently the fisherman and his lover (a woman who loved him but refused to be with him) have met once a summer on the island for many years and the fisherman drinks and drinks like that after she leaves to go back to her real family.

Stab the heart. Stab it.

Anyways, this book also stabs my heart..
and I thought nothing could beat reading it on Rohari St.
on the island
nothing
until a fat baby looked up at me dreamy like
and signed the sign for more when I stopped reading.
more
mama
more

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You can make a big impression or go through life unseen

He drug the ratty old Buzz Lightyear costume out of the dressing up box this morning. His fat little fingers clutching it. Pleading with me: MaMa MaMa MaMA! I have been working with Finn on wearing "street clothes" a bit more nowadays bc he begins preschool next week. I am not stifling him, but the preschool does not allow Batman, Robin, Buzz, or knights. I am told there is a dress up center there, but one must arrive and depart in more traditional outfits.

It has been fine, but Blaise is now ready to experiment. The kid doesn't talk much, but he gets the world. The whole scheme of things. He ran right round the yard with arms stretched out like wings and I fell back into a lawn chair and laughed. And then maybe for just a second I cried just like one sliding tear. I am far too emotional when it comes to my children I think. How can everything be so paramount?

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Hope this feeling will last/The rest of my life

for Shuttersisters Love Thursday

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I never did believe in the ways of magic/But I'm beginning to wonder why

I've been making art smocks for kids for COMFEST.!!!!
I tried to sew smocks at first and found that it was time consuming and pricey, so I had the idea at the thrift store to purchase a bunch of 99 cent uniforms and scrubs and jazz em up for art smocks. It totally works and it is green and fabulous! I feel really good about them as they are all unique and funky and I hope they find good homes with artsy wee ones this summer. Finn loves his!
I am loving pinwheels this week. They are so simple to make. Here is a cool template.
On our walk today we stopped at the pinwheel garden at the local church to look and Finn was obsessed with dandelions. He swears he has never made a wish on one. I told him I was sure last year we did this. His memory is funny like that. He can remember certain things now with clarity, particularly anything involving sugar or going fast, but some things he does not. So we sat down and blew the seeds off dandelions for a bit and Blaise was delighted of course and it reminded me of last year and the fireflies.
One of the things I think Finn gets from Joe is his delight in the here and now. They both are like that. They both tend to allow the pure joy of a moment wash over them and are able to block any other stimuli and simply be. I find that I am like this rarely. I want to be like this more.

Caroline laughs and it's raining all day

Blaise made his first picture today. He has not been interested in crayons too much.
He just wanted to eat them until today. He loves Sharpies though- who doesn't? Anyhoo he sat and made this lovely work of art with a sharpie and a crayon this morning. I am so proud.
Finn and I also refinished and old brass chandelier for entryway too. Red rocks.

It's a rainy day and I think we are gonna watch Mad Hot Ballroom and make nan bread as I slowly deprogram Finnian.
(He spent the weekend with grandparents)

And the load/it doesn’t weigh me down at all

Blaise had to get his vaccines today and it as usual sucked. We tried to temper the day with a trip to our pal's coffee shop and indulge in chocolates, but it still went south. I cannot bear to hear my child scream out. He is knocked out in an acetaminophen haze now and is perfectly fine, but I always get a terrible sadness when he cries like that. Finn laughed wickedly in delight at the fact he did not have to get shots. He did however take to playing with his brother a lot today. This has been happening right under my nose as of late and I am so thrilled. It has taken a very long time for Finn to buy into Blaise. He has not always been so thrilled to play with him. I was worried for a bit that they would never interact properly, but they have begun. They run with each other and tumble and laugh. Blaise cannot keep his eyes off of Finn. Finn is a Deity to him. Blaise is smitten and I think it is safe to say on this rainy sorta funky day in March that Finn kinda digs him too.

In a back corner of my brain is lurking this lovely photo. I really want many things. And one real big thing is to have an outside area to entertain. I want it to be whimsical and inviting and charming. I want to wear turquoise caftans and twirl my arms above my head and dance. I want to play with my friends again. I want lights like this photo. How do I make this happen?
photo found on one of my fave blogs Oh Happy Day
via

Well pick me up with golden hands

I have been playing for days...
playdate last night
playdate today with breaking porcelaine
playdate tomorrow with lil P
playdate with Dawn and coffee with Momo on friday
Once again, I am the most popular girl at summer camp
no seriously
i am so lucky and tired
kids gleeful
they needed this after two weeks of mom ill/funkadilly
thinking of St. Patrick's Day
will probably cut shamrocks from construction paper/make potato prints/eat green all day/drink some brew
would like to make this
how bout you?

Soften a bit until we all just get along

Parenting refresher #3...Last time I wrote about feelings.

This one I am actually doing pretty well. Being the power tripper that I am, I think I am learning to give Finn choices (that I approve of) and he feels empowered. I mean think about how little control these wee ones have in daily life... No wonder he freaks out in glee when he can choose his own skivvies in the morning!
These small peeps are walking around in a scripted, dictated world and any chance we can extend the decision making or reasoning stick- the better! I try and map out the day during the week so that we float along on a schedule- but Finn can veer from it if he is inclined by creativity. I try and allow him to mess up my perfect plans and remember that he needs choices and he is allowed to not always like my ideas. I can recall so easily how lesson plans fell apart for me sometimes and I had to be ready to sprint in another direction. My ability to be spontaneous was one of my best attributes in education. Choices. Change. Flow. I have started to think like this again.
Would you like to sort yr G.G. grandpa's magic buttons or paint with watercolors?
Buttons.
Great.
Only he didn't want to sort them. He wanted to make a wish on each one, carry around a bunch in his pocket, and tell them stories. You go Finn. I would have never come up with such an imaginative plan for the magic buttons. I would have only been working with quantification and sorting...but you broke the day open wide and found a whole button universe to reside inside... I'm so glad I listen to you.

And I'll know when it's right like a voice in the night/And the right shade of tangerine

Oh the world is bright and crisp today
and I am in it
right in the thick of the matter

We made Sally the Snake today
She is sweet and we love her
I was homesick for the library
I am full now

"It's spring fever...You don't quite know what it is you DO want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!"
- Mark Twain

every street light reveals a picture in reverse/still it's so much clearer

back on the parenting table is the refresher course I am giving myself.

I should have studied this a bit more this early morning. I should have practiced. It is like I was either born without the filter mechanism or as I grew- I really never learned all of the proper ways to deal with large emotions, so even now I tend to be stunted when it comes to waves of feelings. I always act out, so how can I expect my child to do different? I think I need to start slowly again. I think I must walk around the house and announce my feelings to the masses.

"Mommy is feeling angry right now and she feels red"
"Mommy is feeling all sad and she might need to cry"

I mean, isn't this what makes parents different. There must be parents who feel defeated and just give up...and then there are parents who might try and better themselves in the process of trial and error. I keep messing up and I keep trying and it is hard to know the way with the lack of learning curves ahead. I guess I just want to allow my kids to feel and not have to agree with them. I just want to model better behavior. I just want to try and learn right along with them to deal with yr emotional self before you try and communicate and rationalize. I just need to keep it in my mind that the keystone of all of this is my love and it is good enough, it just needs a tweak. It just needs a little calibration to purr.