You never write the narrative of yr own sadness until the moment it happens.

I would have pulled bong hits today.
I would have drank hard liquor.
to forget

Today wasn't like any other day I have ever had.
I have never had to wake someone from slumber to deliver bad news like the news I gave today.
When you are younger than you even know you are and you are in love and most of yr problems can be solved in 24 short hours you don't look into the future and see heavy shit.
You just see much of the same.

You just forget to focus on the future and what will happen.
People tell you things and you look at others lives but it is never yr little life.

You never write the narrative of yr own sadness until the moment it happens.

Joe's father died last night.

It's like there is a giant hole in England now
in his town
in Joe's heart

And when I had to put my arms around him
to hold him and tell him
it was like he wasn't all there
like he had shrunk to the size of a boy
and even my strong strong arms
wrapped right around him
couldn't do enough

"Nothing harder than being given your chance. At least, that's what I hear."

Me is Sad, originally uploaded by {CarLee}.

This stinks.
First Domino magazine folds and today I hear that Wondertime is bust.
The particularly crappy part to the latter is my article won't run in 2009 now.
I was pretty excited about being in Wondertime- remember?
What a bummer for me.
What a bummer for all of us as it was a gorgeous and lush mag.
Sad heart today.
Will I ever be a writer?

title post- great Expectations 1998