Tuesday, July 21, 2009

You never write the narrative of yr own sadness until the moment it happens.

I would have pulled bong hits today.
I would have drank hard liquor.
to forget

Today wasn't like any other day I have ever had.
I have never had to wake someone from slumber to deliver bad news like the news I gave today.
When you are younger than you even know you are and you are in love and most of yr problems can be solved in 24 short hours you don't look into the future and see heavy shit.
You just see much of the same.

You just forget to focus on the future and what will happen.
People tell you things and you look at others lives but it is never yr little life.

You never write the narrative of yr own sadness until the moment it happens.

Joe's father died last night.

It's like there is a giant hole in England now
in his town
in Joe's heart

And when I had to put my arms around him
to hold him and tell him
it was like he wasn't all there
like he had shrunk to the size of a boy
and even my strong strong arms
wrapped right around him
couldn't do enough

41 comments:

Abby said...

I'm so sorry, Amy. Devastating.

Rachel said...

Love and light to you, Joe, and the rest of the family.

susiej said...

Oh Sweetie... I'm so sorry... A tragedy so big you can hardly wrap your arms around it.

Amy said...

So so sorry. Let me know how I can help.

Chuck said...

I'm very sorry Joe.

Headless Mom said...

Oh Amy.

Much love to you and Joe, and the rest of his family. I'll pray for comfort.

xoxo

katekatenegotiate said...

we love you, joe

Neil said...

I'm sorry, Amy. What a tough time for you and your family.

blissfully caffeinated said...

Amy, so sorry for you and Joe. My thoughts are with you.

Ann said...

I don't know if this will help at all ... but life gets better and has a way of healing us from such pain.

My Mom died a couple of years ago and though the pain is not here anymore there is big hole in my being that I know will not be filled anymore.

Heather said...

I'm so very sorry.

Moonstruck said...

Just wanted to say how sorry I am and that I'm thinking of you and your family.

Never That Easy said...

I am so very sorry, for all of you.

laurie said...

I am so sorry for your loss.

TZT said...

Looked for you yesterday, didn't see you and wondered if something was up. I am so sorry to hear this. Take care.

AnnetteK said...

I'm so terribly sorry. ((hugs))

OHmommy said...

So sorry. Hugs, Amy.

Jess said...

This post brought tears to me. All the best for making your way through such a time...

AmericanFamily said...

I am so sorry Amy. Is there anything you or Joe need?

daisy janie said...

My sincerest condolences to you & Joe and your family. My heart goes out to you as you process this very adult moment in time that no doubt will "grow you up" more than you'd like...

-T- said...

I am very sorry. I remember when my husband received the news of his father's death in the middle of the night long ago. Devastating.

{{hugs}}

Beth said...

I'm so sorry, Joe and Amy.

vincent said...

I am so sorry for you... Please take care of each other...

Melisa with one S said...

I'm *so* sorry for your loss.

Judith Shakespeare said...

I am so very sorry. Sending as many healing vibes as I can your way...

The Redheaded Lefty said...

So, so sorry. Thinking of you.

Sizzle said...

I am so, so very sorry.

Mrs. Schmitty said...

I am so very sorry for your loss.

Patois said...

I'm so very sorry. I hope he finds small comforts.

Amanda said...

Lurker here...always read, never comment.

I am so, so sorry for you, joe and your entire family. I haven't lost a parent, so I don't know what it feels like, but can only imagine the hurt in your hearts right now. take good care of each other.

Karen said...

love you, my friend. let me know if you guys need anything.

Josey's mom said...

SO SORRY for your family's loss.

Cate said...

so very sorry. big hugs from nyc, to you, to england, to joe.

avesta said...

I am so sad...Joe's dad was just pure love...can't wait to be able to give Joe and Vicky a very long, big hug. I love you guys!

paige said...

Ow Amy

Sending love to all of you, especially Joe.

xoxo

village mama said...

Prayers of strength to your families. XO.

Taking Care said...

It's very difficult losing people we love from our lives. Especially those who have been there all or most of our lives.

Suddenly new moments are no longer there for the anticipation. However the beauty in past moment stays for as long as we desire.

In time the pain fades and a cherished fondness grows deeper in our memories.

I hope healing comes quickly.

amy turn sharp of doobleh-vay said...

thank you so much everyone. I am kept above the surface by you. xo

Alexis said...

I'm so sorry for you and Joe and your kids!

www.pepperpaints.com said...

Sorry to be so late with my condolences -I am truly sorry.

Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub said...

I saw you at BlogHer and loved your reading. Not sure if we met, but every time I saw you I had to hold myself back to not run up and say, "I was like that too!!"

I am finally going through some of your archives and found this beautiful, heart-rending entry. I am so sorry for your Joe's and your family's loss. Your words are poetic and I felt like I was watching an intimate moment from the room beside you.

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