I'm not expecting to grow flowers in the desert

Today has been one those Mondays that you knew was going to suck a bit more than the average. On occasion my list making skills suffer and I notice by Friday that I have slowly transferred in scratches and scribbles the majority of my to-do's that are unpleasant to Fridays column. By Friday night I am drinking a glass of wine and tossing my to-do journal across the room to land in a pile of toys or laundry. I allow my thoughts to turn to the list briefly on Saturday but manage to block it out until about 7pm Sunday evening. It then hangs thick in my mind and causes me to face it, to reckon with it. I neatly make a new weeks list. I stare at Monday and frown. It is lunch time and I have already caught myself scratching something and assigning it to tomorrow. I suck.

I have been working on wrapping bakers twine round old clothespins for the arts and craft table at summer festival. I like the monotony. It makes me forget about the Monday list. It's over there on the table now. It hovers. I want to stab it with my pencil. Happy Monday.

And all I can do is just pour some tea for two

Amazing weekend. My mom sent us to a cabin on the lake, took my boys, and stuffed money in my pocket. We went antique shopping, ate Mexican food, fed ducks, and talked for hours. It was well needed and sublime. My husband is truly my best friend.

My poetry audition went pretty well, although my nerves were a kickin and my leg was shaking uncontrollably under the podium for all to see. I wanted to shout expletives at my thigh. I think the poems were decent, but my whole body tremor was annoying.

We went for a beer at my hometown Irish pub. It was overwhelming to see how things change. It has moved locations and is no longer in the skinny building with ceilings of fire retardant spray turned black by the years of smoke drifting upwards. It is now clean and sterile and holy boring. It is no longer packed with people so tightly that bodies brush. All the cute boys of my youth must be married with beer guts at home. All the big haired girls were absent. My old teachers were not drinking whiskey at the round table looking fascinating. There was nary a drunken lush from my youth. It was empty and kinda sad. Me and Joe drank our Stella's and left. You really might not be able to go home again.

I got a crazy teacher/he wears dark glasses

Off to audition for the Arts Festival poetry reading! I have major butterflies. Funny thing is I am a MAJOR extrovert...but am anxiety ridden today. My friend made me think about something today. I have been out of the work force since August and have not been public speaking...so I am just out of groove now. It is nothing I can't snap back into I hope. Right?
Am going to sit in the sun for a bit just now.
It is brighter outside than it has been for weeks-brimming with possibility.
I can already feel the light attaching itself to my face

Love was such an easy game to play

Finn is definitely focused on the here and now. That is what can help a parent to enjoy the day- the gently nudge from a child to remember that today is here ..NOW! And we ought to be present. BUT!!! There are so many questions about today/tomorrow/yesterday. He is having struggles with concepts of time. The ego as it looms large at this age can relate to time in relation to the self. He loves to hear stories of the past that include him and he likes to "plan" his day. But he sure gets confused by the days of the week and when exactly tomorrow comes. If I use the word later- oh my..when is later? And sometimes yesterday really is too far away. I am trying to find a simple daily practice to help him with the days of the week and time.

It is pre math I suppose, in the simplest form.

We made three posters labeled with today/tomorrow/yesterday and filled them out as we had a lounge floor breakfast. We labeled all the things we did and are doing and will do. We cut out images from magazines and identified letters and chatted while we created. They are hanging in the playroom now. As you work on a lesson like this you can also start to introduce sequence words like first/next/before/after/then as another little lesson.

And I had a feeling that I belonged

Story Pockets:
An easy and fun early literacy project
Finn likes to paint and then tell me a story about his paintings, so we started doing story pockets. The idea is to let the child dictate a story about their art and explore matching concepts.
1. Child creates a piece of art on paper.
2. Fold paper up two inches and staple- creating a pocket.
3. Transcribe the story for yr child on paper. (I loved this as a child- thanks gran)
4. Write down a sentence that the child tells you from the story on the pocket and talk about the letters and words as you write.
5. Write one word from sentence on each index card or scrap paper.
6. Encourage child to try and match the words and nestle into the pocket.
7. Have fun and display them!
Finn thinks these are fantastic and calls them games.
I did these at school with Kindergartners, but I think they are very appropriate for early learners.





In other news-me and my pal Carrie hit up my new local wine shop last night and went nuts for the Enoline wine machine. It is a very cool way to taste wine and learn about new wines without buying a whole bottle. The store was super cool and we left with knowledge and smiles! You load a card with cash and operate the machine yrself. We loved it. The tricky part is not drinking too much...it is kinda like those college drinking games like pyramid...We really didn't drink so much wine, but we drank the wine pours in a relatively short time... ounce here/ ounce there/woo woo. Did I mention it is in walking distance from my house? I will be back .

Just let my love throw a spark

3/27/99
Seems like a moment ago
My very best days have followed
xo Happy Day Dear Joe

there's no telling where it starts or how it ends.

It was washing baby day morning. Finn loved to wash the babies at his old school and I started the tradition before Blaise was born to instill some "tenderness" and basic baby care into his little soul. We used to do this a lot but I have noticed that over many months Finn prefers to play with Playmobile and Buzz Lightyear figures over his sweet babies. Then last night after we had to clean the mattress from an accident, we found a small baby doll wedged in the crack and he fell in love again. This morning we collected all the dolls and cats and such and played "baby bath" again and it felt so sweet and good to me. I want Finn to stay like this for as long as humanly possible. I don't want him to turn his nose up at beautiful benevolence. I want his heart to stay sweet and never go catawampus.

Can't you feel the weight of my stare

My Joe has always made blocks for the boys and now I have convinced him to make some for me to sell to folks who love wooden blocks as much as we do.... I am super excited to help him make some and learn a bit about woodworking. I mean, I am married to a master carpenter- I should know a few things! We are researching non toxic paints and finishes and will sell them this summer at some local festivals I am doing and on Etsy eventually. I have been restoring furniture and working on a million projects at nap time recently. My house is a tip and I have worn the same shirt for two days, but I am so juiced with creativity. I just had to photograph this little chair today. It has a charm to it- old and metal and once loved.

You should've heard just what I seen/Who do you love?

I have been prepping Finn for Spring Cleaning, talking it way up on the cool list of things to do. I fully wanted a buy-in this year so that I would have some help. And frankly, I am tired of him announcing that the house is 'real junky" and the windows have bugs that have "passed away"on them. (Where does he get this? He talks about his love for The Beatles and how some have passed away...Kook.) Finn loved having his own vinegar spray bottle and all went well until I tried to video him. He was not into being showcased today. He raged for a bit and I am just going to blame it one the 100lbs of candy he has consumed in the last 24 hours. I had a twinkling multi colored foil confetti pile around me last night as I watched a movie too. I will be glad when the chocolate is finally gone.
Random question to anyone...Where can I buy cork for making my own cork boards?





In other news: WHooo WHooo can count to 20? Finn!
And owls in other news: I so want to buy some of this!

Blooming like a red rose, breathing more freely,

So much crafting this weekend, originally uploaded by turnsharp.

I never post more than once a day
but the my creative juices
are flying around the house
and I had to share
New step stools
while they all sleep
away the sugar buzz

I know where I'm goin'/Don't you wanna come too?

I learned to make a banner last night for Finn's room. I used fleece and bias binding and I stepped away from the machine happy. I have been moping around the sewing machine. I have been afraid to try. I just jumped in again and I created! If feels good to make. I am going to make banners for the etsy shop this week! Yahoo! I also learned to set grommets. Hallelujah!
There is also much merrymaking here as Finn has opened his Gran's birthday present from the UK. He is gaga for his Dr. Who cyberman suit! Gran always buys him amazing costumes-we love her and miss her so much! I love that Finn dresses up nearly everyday and exercises his creativity.
I am a bit sad today as our Easter plans were sideswiped by Blaise having the flu. I am wishing a tiny bit to be someplace else today, but as I look over the top of my screen and see the three boys in the living room, I am fine. Blaise is on the mend and there is much chocolate in the house. I actually have no plans for once. I have homemade chicken stock on the stove and my husband looks sexy today. Hoppy Easter.



Montessori Mama had tagged me for a Open book meme and I have been neglectful... So sorry! She is a gem I found through Village mama. She has tons of great ideas for parents! She was just interviewed on the cool Artful Parent.
Check her out!

Where tomorrow shines/Gold and silver shine

We have a sick wee one this Easter weekend- so Finn and I went solo to the neighborhood morning hunt. He invited Jack and they had a great time running for the eggs. I will be using a Paz kit today for our eggs, all my red cabbage, turmeric, & onion skins dreams of natural dying have gone away with the addition of a sickly baby. We are getting ready to put our legs up on wooden stools and feast on the egg hunt bounty. Have a great day with yr Easter weekend traditions. xo

Your head will collapse/If there's nothing in it

Free activity: take some salt and let yr kid practice writing letters or numbers or just have sensory play. It kept Finn entertained for a long time. He later brought trains, dinosaurs, and cars into the salt for play.

Our seeds are growing and looking wonderful. We have started to get more and more excited for the garden this year. We have been stomping around in the backyard looking at our small plot. Some of my best memories are attached to growing up in the thick of the Southeastern Ohio back country. I loved the freedom and wonder of nature. I love that I already knew how to drive a stick shift at 16 because I grew up on tractors. I find it sorta terrifying that I had a motorcycle when I was a kid. I am even more freaked out that my dad buzzed me round the countryside on the back of his at a very young age. I love that my mom and I would walk down to the giant gardens we had in my childhood with a salt shaker and sit and feast on tomatoes warm still from the sun. And that my grandpa would pick me up from school and bring my rabbit in the car so that I could pet him with one arm while hanging my other arm out the window of his old car, trying to catch tall weeds on the banks of their road. I spent an incredible amount of my formative years in the creek. They were really some halcyon days in there. I kind of detached from nature for a long time but am so back in the thick of it as I tap my toe against the floor in anticipation of spending the day Sunday at my parents land. I want Finn to strip his fancy church clothes off and run wild around the land. I want him to get really dirty. I think there is a big possibility that we will move down to our land we own in the country someday and build a little world. Crossing fingers that it is possible to leave the city and make it work. Someday.
I was loving reading about Blue Yonder and the ranch today. Now that is what I am talking about!

Take this sinking boat and point it home/We've still got time

We are off to the doctor after naps. Finn says his ears hurt like tiny needles on the inside and Blaise had a fever all night. Oh Bliss/Oh Co-pay.
Before lunch we made a feeling/emotion wheel so that we could show each other how we are feeling. Finn choose the emotions. They are nervous, happy, loving, angry, peaceful, and junky. Junky is my favorite. I feel junky today. I am in the same clothing that I had on yesterday evening. I like the wheel. It would be nice if we had a wheel attached to our faces. It would be great to just adjust an attitude by a simple turning motion near the ear and jaw bone. Even if it couldn't change yr mood, it could announce to the world the real way yr feeling. Yeah, junky is what my wheel would say. I am in a bad mood partly bc I can't keep a pair of kitchen scissors to save my life. I buy them and make silent promises to myself that they will never cut anything but food. That they will never touch plastic or paper or hair. Yet I always fail. There is always a moment, a weakness. I am going to buy a new pair again soon and the wheel might as well be turned to angry now.
BTW...I am so smitten with Small Magazine.
Check out small draw section
adorable

I'll kiss you on the brain in the shadow of the train

I am going to church on Easter Sunday. The roof might fall in.
We are headed down to my mom's church and then have a country Easter Egg Hunt and some dinner out with the whole family. I am actually looking forward to it. I love an egg hunt. I like to dress up occasionally and I get to hang out with my Grandmother. She has given me carte blanche on her sun porch items. She says I can go gather some furniture I have been wanting for a long time. She says she has some old buttons and vintage fabric for me. Finn is taking home my fathers wooden bed he slept on as a child to have as his bed. I am so excited.
Finn was concerned about making sure we have pancakes at his grandparents house. We decided to make some half whole wheat pancake mix to take as a gift. No offence to my lovely mom, but she brought Jiffy Mix to my house the last time she stayed and that stuff has trans fat in it and the name has always disturbed me. We used an old peanut container and made a simple dry mix. Finn made labels and named the mix.
Finnian's Easter Egg Pancake Mix
It was fun.
I also met Momo-fali for coffee today and it was terrific. We had a great time. She is v. cool and has super shiny hair. We might go and meet Bossy for a drink.

And the load/it doesn’t weigh me down at all

Blaise had to get his vaccines today and it as usual sucked. We tried to temper the day with a trip to our pal's coffee shop and indulge in chocolates, but it still went south. I cannot bear to hear my child scream out. He is knocked out in an acetaminophen haze now and is perfectly fine, but I always get a terrible sadness when he cries like that. Finn laughed wickedly in delight at the fact he did not have to get shots. He did however take to playing with his brother a lot today. This has been happening right under my nose as of late and I am so thrilled. It has taken a very long time for Finn to buy into Blaise. He has not always been so thrilled to play with him. I was worried for a bit that they would never interact properly, but they have begun. They run with each other and tumble and laugh. Blaise cannot keep his eyes off of Finn. Finn is a Deity to him. Blaise is smitten and I think it is safe to say on this rainy sorta funky day in March that Finn kinda digs him too.

In a back corner of my brain is lurking this lovely photo. I really want many things. And one real big thing is to have an outside area to entertain. I want it to be whimsical and inviting and charming. I want to wear turquoise caftans and twirl my arms above my head and dance. I want to play with my friends again. I want lights like this photo. How do I make this happen?
photo found on one of my fave blogs Oh Happy Day
via

Like a record baby/Right round round round

I found this Delicious site on Sk-rt.com today! It is so much fun to come up with beautiful inspiration boards. I love being able to create an outfit and plan a little adventure in my head. As the boys sleep, I am daydreaming of this particular outfit. I am imagining myself wearing it on the day we close on our other house. I am visualizing signatures and papers and stress floating right out the room. I see the people look at me in my garb and think..."She is so chic." "How does she do it with two little ones?" I see Joe and I walk down the cobblestone street holding hands and laughing. I watch as we duck into a tiny bistro for a late lunch and martinis. My hair is shiny and I have no food on my clothing.
Back to reality...How can a house swallow pacifiers? I started with at least 6 this year and I am desperate to find them. I even looked in the crack between Finn's bed and the wall. He has been known to hoard contraband. It just makes me crazy. Have a lovely day. xo

I am thirty-two flavors and then some

Just announcing some new items in wee shop
Bakers twine and some vintage goodies
lots more on route
www.dooblehvay.etsy.com

Also younger than the sun

Before I had kids I thought about traditions. I put a lot of thought into the traditions of my marriage. I wanted to be that old couple that still had a codeword for leaving a party or a particular spot to celebrate or bundles of love letters for another generation to find. I think we will be that couple. I have started focusing on family traditions with the boys. I love the idea of planting these small comforting seeds in my sons minds. I love that they might one day practice some traditions with their own kids. One tradition that we have fallen right into is Pancake Sunday. We all make pancakes and read afterwards with coffee and juice and music. It sounds so simple and it is. I think the best traditions are simple motions that just get ingrained over time because they feel so good. I don't ever want anything to come in between us and Pancake Sunday. I found a book last year that speaks to me and I wanted to share it with you. I love love love "Under The Chinaberry Tree" by Ruethling and Pitcher. I have been reading it this winter and have found many special traditions and ideas within the pages. I love this birthday poem/prayer so much. We are going to begin to read this to our boys the night before their birthdays.
A Verse for the Night Before the Birthday
When I have said my evening prayer,
And my clothes are folded on the chair,
And mother switches off the light,
I'll still be____ years old tonight.
But, from the very break of day,
Before the children rise and play,
Before the darkness turns to gold,
Tomorrow, I'll be ____ years old.
_____ kisses when i wake,
_____ candles on my cake!

perfect
simple
and so
another tradition is born
here

* click on the book for details...

I'm just looking for a faith/Waiting to be followed

60 years is a long time to be married.
Today we drove down to Southern Ohio to celebrate my grandparents anniversary. I always get a bit wonky when I visit my grandparents. My grandfather is a Baptist minister and we have pretty much been forever at odds. I love him though...madly. It is difficult when you are so different from a family member. It is so hard to find yr place in their heart and vice versa.In real life you can simply disengage from someone who annoys or attempts to stifle you, but in family you are tethered to one another. You are bound to another person and perhaps it is a part of yr destiny to figure out yr relationship. He will always tell me how I am going to hell for a multitude of reasons. He will always judge me. We will never jive in our views. I am a big fat liberal and he is a big fat Baptist minister. But he has always loved me aside from all that. He has always believed in me and cared for me and thought about me. And I him. He has touched the tether too and realized that we are alike in the deep. We both love stuffed cabbage. We both like old movies and vacations. We both love art (he married a painter). We both have beautiful memories of my young childhood when he was king. Before I grew into the person he could not stop me from growing into/before I cultivated thoughts far from his vantage point. We both acknowledged to each other today that it was magnificent that all his children were here...from all over the country. He and my beautiful grandmother raised three amazing children. My mother and her brothers walk this earth in good. They all glow.
My grandfather was jovial today- showing off his stubby finger to the grand kids...he lost a tip of it in an old railway accident long long ago. Finn and the other children were mesmerized, lost in the story papa Charles told from his tongue. Finn was the first to touch it, to gently pet the finger and ask him why would he be so silly as to put his finger someplace unsafe? Grandpa laughed and laughed and it was easy to see the joy float around the room.
It was a good day near Appalachia.
Happy Anniversary Reverend and Mrs. C.
all my love

I'm bound to thank you for it

I am on alltop.com, originally uploaded by turnsharp.

today has been a good day
one of those days that started too early
and you wonder/worry that you might be grumpy
but turns out yr not
and things roll out kinda cool
kids eat pancakes
dad gets out the door on time
coffee stays hot
friends pop in
kids nap
and you find out you are on alltop.com
you know the bloggess will be proud
you are so jazzed that you can deal with the issue
of neighborhood egg hunt tonight
egg hunt that involves screaming wee ones
and man dressed as giant freakish easter bunny
yeah

Give me these moments back/Give them back to me

Walking round town today
thinking about my poetry audition later this month
I am so far from my poems
so deep into stringing together characters and sentences
that spin
I am working on some old poems today
some that still deserve attention
and kindness
and light
the boys are resting quietly and I am searching now
for that girl again
that girl who sat in cafes and bars
and plucked words from midair and
lined them up like small soldiers across the page




I
if I had an atlas I would
crack the spine
look up
the miles between us
the exact mileage
but I already know
many more miles
than I can imagine
can’t walk there
can’t swim


II
People talks about our minds, more specifically our brains and how people, places, and things are always in the corners. That’s not really true. The truth is far better. You are everywhere. In my hippocampi, my sorting center, which stores and rejects data that bombards me, like the note on my desk, a reminder to send you a poem. In my basal ganglia and cerebellum, which process the information I need to do routine procedures like picking up a pen or licking a stamp that will mail small envelopes to you. In my cortex, the beautiful layer of neurons that house sounds, smells, and images allowing me to picture your face and hear the train that rattles by your house. And my frontal lobes, the most noble part of my brain, where my conscious behavior, actions, and decisions are--my access to you. My complete schema of you. Where I can retrieve and hold you suspended in clarity. You see, there are no dusty small corners of my mind and I don’t need an atlas to measure what truly matters.

Well pick me up with golden hands

I have been playing for days...
playdate last night
playdate today with breaking porcelaine
playdate tomorrow with lil P
playdate with Dawn and coffee with Momo on friday
Once again, I am the most popular girl at summer camp
no seriously
i am so lucky and tired
kids gleeful
they needed this after two weeks of mom ill/funkadilly
thinking of St. Patrick's Day
will probably cut shamrocks from construction paper/make potato prints/eat green all day/drink some brew
would like to make this
how bout you?

Soften a bit until we all just get along

Parenting refresher #3...Last time I wrote about feelings.

This one I am actually doing pretty well. Being the power tripper that I am, I think I am learning to give Finn choices (that I approve of) and he feels empowered. I mean think about how little control these wee ones have in daily life... No wonder he freaks out in glee when he can choose his own skivvies in the morning!
These small peeps are walking around in a scripted, dictated world and any chance we can extend the decision making or reasoning stick- the better! I try and map out the day during the week so that we float along on a schedule- but Finn can veer from it if he is inclined by creativity. I try and allow him to mess up my perfect plans and remember that he needs choices and he is allowed to not always like my ideas. I can recall so easily how lesson plans fell apart for me sometimes and I had to be ready to sprint in another direction. My ability to be spontaneous was one of my best attributes in education. Choices. Change. Flow. I have started to think like this again.
Would you like to sort yr G.G. grandpa's magic buttons or paint with watercolors?
Buttons.
Great.
Only he didn't want to sort them. He wanted to make a wish on each one, carry around a bunch in his pocket, and tell them stories. You go Finn. I would have never come up with such an imaginative plan for the magic buttons. I would have only been working with quantification and sorting...but you broke the day open wide and found a whole button universe to reside inside... I'm so glad I listen to you.

my voice was just a roar

I have been walking around these past few weeks trying to recall a song that was like on the tip of my tongue, blocked lyrics that I felt were constantly on the verge of being recovered. It has been such a tease. I have sat and squinted my eyes and pushed my lips together with no success. I have called friends and bugged them. I have consulted every subpar music site on the web. I was about to give up, to relinquish the quest to the dark and dank parts of my mind...allowing it to float right from my grasp.
Then last night as I sat writing, I had the divine intervention. I saw the lyrics and heard the song and finally it was there. I had forgotten that I loved The Wild Colonials and the "Fruit of Life" CD. I loved in particular the "Philadelphia Story" song. I loved it so much once...How did I forget so easily? I placed the song in some photos of our snowy weekend. Have a listen.


*Something else I would like to touch on here today is some sad news I found out. I adore the blog salt and chocolate and Mary Beth is a kind and fabulous woman that I have had the pleasure of connecting with and I read today that her 16 month old has been diagnosed with Leukemia. I am frantic inside for her and feel a bit off all day after hearing this news. The good thing is that his prognosis is good and they are positive. I still can't make it right in my head. I still can't shake the feeling of deep sadness. Life is hard and uncertain and I don't quite get it all the time. I am wishing them all the positive energy I have today. I am giving it all away. If you get a moment, go over and leave her some encouragement. Think about yr life today.
Spell it out as you walk around P R E C I O U S

And I just can't contain/This feeling that remains

I am addicted to this song.

I also added a new teecycled bag to my Etsy Shop. Cool beanos?
We are digging out of the blizzard today. Enjoy yr day. xoxo

I will be yr home/I will be yr guide

Blizzards are cool, originally uploaded by turnsharp.

In 1978 I was about the same age as Finn is now. I know Piaget talks about memories and recreating them from fragments you hear and photos you see, but I know I can recall opening the kitchen door and gazing out in wonder at the mountains of snow all around. I recall the 1978 Ohio Blizzard. I know I can remember my father and his blue jacket and a shovel. I can remember the feeling of being warm inside and looking out picture windows. I wonder what will roll round Finn's mind 30 years from now?

And it flows like a river/Flows like a river in my soul

Finn and I are working on bodies today. He made a cut out of his body and we talked about his body and some science and some body image and he was so open and you could almost feel his mind percolating the discussion. I think it is very important to begin this dialogue now about his personal self. Self concept work is crucial for children. I think tiny little lessons during the week like this can help build up a child's self esteem and knowledge base. Again, I freak out sometimes when I think of all that I have been entrusted with in having children. Do you have any special lessons you use with yr children? Are there any good books on this these topics? I am going to the library today! :)
In other news...I made a kick ass grocery/market bag out of a beloved old t-shirt yesterday. It rocks! I am going to make more!!!!

I'm about to lose control and I think I like it

On Monday, sk*rt unleashed a new look and I am so proud to announce that I have been chosen as an editor!!!! I am so honored as only 21 fabulous women were chosen out of a pool of 400!
Check out my little bio and pic here.
I get the fun job of scouring the internet for cool links and blogs and such! I am keeping my eyes on all of you! The amazing thing about Sk*rt is that you can use it simply to find the "best " of the internet for the day or you can submit and promote items/blogs you like! You can even promote your own blog or tutorials or shops!
I urge you to check out Sk*rt! You will love it!

Payin anything to roll the dice/Just one more time

Starbucks in the morning with Jess. Tripping giggles all morning long. We have been friends since 1992/so much between us. She just moved back from Portland, Maine to settle near me. Me! Lucky me! We sat around and made our business cards today for our little project we are unleashing to the world this summer. It was a morning of delight and yet when creativity starts buzzing along so fast and furious, it can be hard to not shake with the energy. I think the large coffee had a wee part too. We talked about Hillary and history and feminism and I walked out into the snowy glaring white day renewed and frenzied to create.

My dear Kate met HC last night. She talked about the way she felt in this historical time as she carries a baby girl in her belly. I am sure she will blog about it today.

But everybody wants a rock/To wind a piece of string around

Today is obviously an exciting day in Ohio. I am experiencing major stomach twisting nervous energy over the political landscape here. I am also doing bills. I think that the bills are twisting my stomach more than anything really. I left a really great career to write a novel. I chose to stay at home with my kids. I am married to a man who works for himself. I bought a house to renovate and made a decision to have two mortgages in this insane market. I can rationalize it all neat and pretty...But it sucks a little bit right now.
I am working on visualizing the future. I am peeling away the depression and funky funky layers that cloud my vision and I can sorta make out a picture of smiling carefree folks in the sun. I can sorta see myself shopping at Whole Foods again and venturing into the world. If I squint very hard I can see my son in a amazing two day a week preschool. I can see museum membership card corners sticking out of my pocket. I think I can also see Nordstrom. I can definitely see a slice of a day where I don't snap at Joe because he isn't bringing home enough. I can see him exhale. I can. I can.
For now though, I am working on what I can do. On Sk-rt I found a couple great articles about food and finances. I like this one and I am going to make some of the recipes on this one.
I like reading about how other people pull stuff together and save money. My pal Susana always does a great job with her money saving kitchen skills. I am always looking.
And lately always squinting.

Give me spots on my apples/But leave me the birds and the bees

Me and Finn are crazy for gardening this year!!!
We had tomato plant beds last year and we made a vow that when we moved we would plant a garden! We spent the morning at our local hardware store (so so lucky to have a little indie store in walking distance) getting to know Mr. Kelly and learning all about seeds and frosts and plants and agriculture. We also got an impromptu history lesson on our town and some lollipops. It was kick ass.
When I go to Lowe's or Home Depot I have to chase down an apron wearing employee and pray they will give me a few moments and some knowledge and point me in the proper direction. I think Mr. Kelly would have invited us for lunch! It reaffirms the fact that I am so glad we moved to this smaller place. (this slower pace) I am so glad we bought the house that nobody wanted bc of all the work. I am so happy that we can walk everywhere and that our town is like a village.
After nap today we are going to start some seeds and work on our herb garden.
I like the simple ideas of naturemoms and this article and download from Wondertime.

I would also invite you to check out Sk*rt's amazing Giveaway! Leave a comment and be entered! Woo woo!

Sometimes I lead sometimes I follow

Blaise had his first walk around the block a bit ago
the stroller remained in the closet
It was so different with the four of us walking

We borrowed an idea from mommycoddle
and had a nature scavenger hunt

The temperature was 58 degrees
it felt promising
my minimal metabolic activity
spiked
I smell spring

Just had to trust imagination/my heart going boom boom boom

I met Kenneth Koch once.

"Rose, where did you get that red?"
I love this book so much. It is tattered like no other book I own. When I worked with elementary school kids through the arts council I used this book religiously. I also used it in classrooms and after school programs. It is a beautiful rare book. I am introducing it now because in April for National Poetry Month I am going to resurrect all my old lesson plans and share them with the web.
Koch used great poetry to teach children how to be poets...how to harness what already lived inside their endless imaginations. He taught kids to soar and through his books I was able to teach poetry to even the very young kindergartners. This book should be in every one's house because poetry is accessible to all of us. We all think and we all process and if we can learn the road from the mind to the pen, then we will soar. I can't wait to share the simple lessons with you in April. I have been reading Finnian poems for a long time and just now I am starting to create poems with him. I am teaching him that words are powerful and can help him express his feelings. I am giving him small gifts for the future. Gifts that might not unfold themselves for decades, but one day he will hear the lines from a poem, perhaps a Blake poem:

Tyger! Tyger! burning bright
in the forests of the night

and his mind will twist and stretch for a bit
and he will think back to the home he grew up in
and he will smile and remember that his mom said it was true
poetry makes you feel