Sunday, June 27, 2010

where I am

I have been working a lot lately and I feel guilty about letting my space sit like sadness all still and stale. This blog needs some blood pumping through it soon. I am going to pay a little attention to it soon. I have been working on my manuscript and LA. I am also at Comfest this weekend trying to make some cash to pay my very late bills. It's pretty hot and humid at 90 degrees plus and I feel like a beast.

Also the festival circuit- not as much fun sober I must say.

I took the kiddos and the babysitter with me yesterday and they had a blast.
Fair Food rules.
The people rule.
(check out my friend's post with lovely freaky fun photos of comfest here)

I feel sad for days though.
What gives with hormones?
I cry over the sink for no reason.
In the bath I lean my head back and taste salt on my cheeks. I think too hard about anything and like auto pilot the back of my hand smashes right up to my mouth and my eyes scrunch up.
I am a freak.
I also have decided that even my toenails look older lately.
(and yes- that is making me cry too)


Tara R. said...

Comfest looked like a blast. Good luck this weekend, I hope it's a successful festival.

I also hope you are feeling better soon. I remember those days too.

Rachel (Hounds in the Kitchen) said...

Oh, Amy. Being busy and pregnant and hot in the summer is a lot. Lean on me if there's anything I can do.

vincent said...

At risk of sounding like a little old lady Amy, you are in a delicate way right now with a lot on your plate... You are allowed to cry and whatever else you feel like doing! You are a busy girl, and you will feel better soon- it is just a pregnant mess! I have done that before! :) Chin up!

kristen said...

Cry baby, cry!! Get it out. Be gentle with yourself--it's hot, your knocked-up, and you are the busiest Momma I know! You deserve a good cry. Thanks for the love

Julia Valdez said...

We are in the same boat emotion wise. I like being pregnant, but I can't wait for this one to be over. Emotional rollercoaster!

susiej said...

Hugs. Feeling for u.

Kate Coveny Hood said...

That last part brought back memories... When I was pregnant I could work myself up to anxiety attacks over the idea of air travel (planes can crash, you know) and Visitors (of the X Files variety - not the inlaws variety).

Seriously though - have you ever had PPD? Can't remember if I've read that here or not... Either way - you probably want some meds for the first few months after the baby is born - I mean, if you're feeling like this now. I had to get a perscription with the twins since my (thankfully brief) PPD with Oliver was so hideous and it's supposed to get worse with each birth. So I have a small piece of advice - get the script filled immediately after you give birth and start taking the magic pills then - not when you get home. Since the magic doesn't kick in for a couple of weeks, you'll appreciate the few days' head start.

That was a lot of talk about PPD and meds there... Sorry if I'm totally off track or preaching to the choir.

Much love to you!

Elizabeth @claritychaos said...

I don't know you at all, so I feel a little strange speaking up on something so personal, but I just wanted to offer a hug and say that I hope you pull through soon. Being pregnant with littles scurrying about while running a business and writing a book is an enormous amount of effort to take on and energy to expend, so the crying makes perfect sense from here. Wishes for love and rest and calm headed your way....

swonderful said...

I don't have a business or a book, just a big pregnant belly. I relate. I hear you. The tears and then the post-tears weariness. And to top it off, this is the hottest Summer EVER in the history of Summer. (I'm pretty sure I read that somewhere official.)

Kunklebaby said...

Ohhh, I looked for you @ Comfest and didn't see you! Where was your spot?
....And your pregnant! Yay-congrats! I didn't even know. It's been SO long since I've seen you! We just had baby #4 in May!! We should get together sometime busy lady! :D


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