Friday, August 1, 2008

You can hear the engines stalling/You can hear the angels falling


Dear DWR,

I love you and I would lick all the surfaces of yr gleaming store. I love my gorgeous few pieces I have bought from you. I really do love you, but can you stop sending me magazines. It is starting to get old. I can't afford you. It is like when Sak's sends me the lookbook years after I purchased a handbag I had no business buying. I have not been to Sak's in years. I don't want to be taunted or kill more trees.
I can't make enough art out of you. You kinda annoy me bc you never listen. I have asked you three times in an email format to remove me from the mailing list. I tried to be cool, like we can still be friends and I will pop round sometimes...but yr not getting it. I also took offence when you did not respond to the emails that showed you some cool recycling projects I had done with my kids and the magazines. ( like this and this)
I thought it might tug at yr heart strings. Others appreciated it. I thought it might make a cool slot on yr blog. You have a blog?
So, I am going to send you one more email today and then we might just have to have a Come to Jesus meeting and I will take out my favorite fat black sharpie and write those final words.
Return to Sender.
and I really don't wanna be that kind of girl...



Get me delivered to yr email xo

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

lol...you wont post this, but I just have to say you are an asshole. I dont need the entire blog world to know...only you.

Why do you feel you have to slam Dooce? Is it because of her excellent writing skills...her wonderful sense of humour...the number of hits she gets? You come across as another jealous wannabe. Shame on you.

Bailey

amy turn sharp of doobleh-vay said...

Dear bailey- yr a bit of a freak. i just praised Dooce today over at Wondertime. Yr a weirdo I think.

amy turn sharp of doobleh-vay said...

Bailey- I meant Wonderland
http://www.alphamom.com/wonderland/
You had me so flustered bc there is usually no hate here
God Bless

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

That comment is so random and off-kilter that it's actually totally entertaining.

It's like me suddenly yelling at you for eating for uncles. WHY DID YOU EAT MY UNCLES, DOOBLEH-VAY?!

This is fun.

Dawn said...

Yeah, I gotta say this is one of those random comments that don't even deserve your attention -- you rise above 'em just existing and don't worry because the rest of us can see that!!!!

Barchbo said...

Okay, that post is about furniture. Maybe on Bailey's planet, Dooce is a code word for "end table."

That's so random. It makes me laugh. People can have opinions that are different from yours, Bailey. It's okay.

Love the super-articulate name-calling, Bails. Nice touch. Maybe Dooce can teach you how not to alienate your audience with aprofane insult in the first line.

Barchbo said...

And Jenny, I ate your uncles. Apologies. It was mid-afternoon and I was PMS-ing.

laurie said...

God. This really does reach a new level of crazy every day. Sorry, Amy.

Sizzle said...

Did Bailey even READ this post? WTH?

And also, when did Dooce get a posse? Does it come with a super secret handshake or something?

kawaii crafter said...

Once, just once I'd love to see a real name plus a link back to these kind of comments.

I think you're great and enjoy reading you blog.

jessica

Amy said...

Amy -

I know you won't post this, but I just have to say, you are fabulous!!

Why do you feel you have to reply to trolls? Is it because of their poor writing skills... their limited senses of humor... the number of hits they take? You come across as a classy broad. Don't stoop to their level.

Big sloppy 'net kisses,
Amy @ prettybabies

abby said...

Have you ever signed up for Catalog Choice? It's like the no-call list for catalogs:
http://www.catalogchoice.org/

Just be...... said...

I'm just gonna comment on what you were originally talking about, ( but I do like the subtle implications of your title)

I've tried to do the return to sender thing, but they still don't get it. At least though your not stuck with all that paper. Why can't one ever get through to a real person at magazines ????

Momo Fali said...

How does Bailey know you so well? Oh, wait...that says "asshole"? For a second I thought it said "coolest, most awesome, sweetheart, wonderful Mom, amazing artist, kind-hearted, fun, beautiful Amy". My bad.

Our Green Nest said...

Yeah Amy, I was going to mention Catalog Choice or DMAchoice.org...Yes, DWR is way too pricey, but love their stuff...love ya!

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