Thursday, December 17, 2009

the days of december

I have been living in my head for a couple weeks. When I get covered in stress I tend to go inside and live deeper and flatter than a pancake.
My friend told me the other day that my head is a bad neighborhood and I believe him.

I still have a unspoiled view of the holidays though. Our family is in town from UK and they are like this amazing sugar striped fantasy that I get to enjoy.
My kids are twinkling like I plugged them in a lightbox
and they spin faster than cars on ice with glee.

Everything is really delightful if I could disconnect from my brain.
If I could only pull some plug.

It's like when you go to sleep and you try and make yrself dream a certain dream. You close yr eyes and pull images and try and push them into that sacred space of time floating around free and peaceful. But you often can't dream that dream that you want. It's like the people all look different like stand ins for the ones you wished for and instead of going to the park you end up at Home Depot and there may or may not be monsters.

Or something like that.

But the sun is shining on my face through the windowed room where I make things go from brain to fingertips to you and it is nicer than anything else and I am just going to sit here and enjoy it for the 7 minutes I have to myself today.

And the world is beautiful around me and I just need to break the surface.


Anjanette (@1writergrrl) said...

God, I know what you're talking mind is totally from the wrong side of the tracks - where there is more broken glass on the ground than grass and the homes all have sagging porches, peeling paint and rusted lawn ornaments. Hope you let the light in a little longer and that the twinkle infused children and crisp winter air help give you a holiday from the 'hood. And then go back 'cuz you know the writing is good ;-)

Elan Morgan said...

This weblog is being featured in Five Star Friday's 84th edition -

village mama said...

Nice to hear that you have fun company from the UK, and that the kids are full of joy and glee!
I'm unplugging from the internets and all that jazz for an extended while... So until we hook up here again, I wish you peace of heart and mind, joy, lots of uncontrollable giggling and magic. All the best to you and yours Amy. xo

Fragrant Liar said...

You and me, we are of the same mind; especially around the holidays when so much is going on around me and so little of real substance (the kind I really want to have with myself) inside my own head. Aw well, there's always January.

Robin Norgren, M.A, R-YT, Spiritual Director said...

It's hard to continuously practice a life that wants to be open to all the challenges life can bring when the reality is I just want to make sure my family is safe and my bills are paid. Thanks for sharing.


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