Thursday, July 7, 2011

68 years

*****
Whenever I get the hiccups I start to get nervous that I will be the next Charles Osborne- the man who hiccuped for 68 years. All Guinness Book and shit.
I am just driving the kids around this morning all the while hiccuping.
I am in large ass coffee drive thru lanes and headed to camp drop offs and a library silly reading hour and hiccuping all the time.
Big deep painful hiccups, not cute little kid drunk girl tea cup silly ones after you drink seltzer.
Not those.
Big ones that are loud and annoying.

It went on for a long time and inside of my mind I resigned myself to the fact that I could not do it.
I could not hiccup for 68 years.
I would be 105 years old and how could I be like him?
Wiki told me that Osborne began hiccuping in 1922, while weighing a hog for slaughter. Despite his condition, Osborne was able to lead a normal life, marrying and having eight children. Really?

The other side of my heart whispered while I sucked caffeine from a fat straw

and it said:

We can get used to most anything if we don't give up.

1 comment:

Deb said...

When I was a kid an uncle of mine (who I only saw 3 times in my life)had a chronic hiccuping disorder (or whatever it's called) for 2 years. He was hospitalized a few times and was miserable and sleep deprived and all sorts of things until it was over, but then all of a sudden one day it apparently just stopped. I am still alarmed whenever I get the hiccups or when the kids would get the hiccups. There is not a question about it on medical family history forms, so I'm guessing it's not hereditary, but so far my only inheritences have been bizarre ones, so it lingers as a potential threat. hic!

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