Monday, August 10, 2009

old man

I didn't know what he was talking about the first few times he said it.
old man
old man

fat finger pointing towards the hallway
I sat up from the sofa the next day and heard it clear as day
Blaise said it and pointed at the cellar door
while me and my brother-in-law had coffee in the kitchen on afternoon.
And he has continued to say it randomly throughout our time here.
We all want to believe it is dad.
And we do now as in the country garden wake at Uncle Richard's estate he looked at old photographs that a friend of dad's had brought and took the thick little finger and pointed at the handsome man we all now miss and said clear as crystal knocking off a surface and breaking into thousand tiny pieces:
and his finger lingered
mushing cake and other food bits
right on the reflection of dad
Last night he told me in two year old broken toddlerish
that old man was sitting beside me
I wasn't afraid
but unafraid
Dad was a spiritualist- he told me so much about his beliefs in the last decade.
I believe. I know he would try and come to us now.
I guess none of us thought he would find his way through a fat little boy in his last year of babyhood.
Through a small mouth that made things real.


Rowena said...

That. is. cool.

secret agent mama said...

Children, their innocence, they are captivating and moving. This is wow.

Colleen - Mommy Always Wins said...

I've heard too many stories just like this to NOT believe in them. My own kids have spooked me at times... I'm glad you could feel some peace from this...

Piper of Love said...

Children often see what we can't, it's cool and it's a blessing. Beautiful post.

Suzanne said...


Anonymous said...

I have no doubt he is there. Children have not been "jaded" and can see what we adults cannot.
I am thinking of you, Joe and the kids. Much Love,

katekatenegotiate said...

wow. that boy has something special.

deb said...

and knowing

Dotty said...

All Our Family knew it is him, there may have been a small time, certain point in all our lives, we get an insight that sometimes we can completley forget that happened, but at 2, 9 or another age, we would have had that little doorway to the next world shown to us, if we are all just open minded enough to see, I remember my older sister having a friend, but now has completley forgotten about her bless Cheers

Sizzle said...

What a gift.

The both of them.

And this.

180|360 said...

I have goosebumps! Amazing, Amy.

maggie, dammit said...


Anonymous said...

Mia sees Pete everywhere. In our basement most days, sitting on the steps. One time in the bathroom at a Wendy's. She usually calls him by name. I just say hello and try and go about my business. It is wonderful and heartbreaking a the same time. I wish RJ could see him. xoxo See you Thursday for some jet lagged lovin'! m.

Melanie K said...

two of my brothers died in a plane crash a few years ago.

after we scattered the ashes of his father, my then-two-year old nephew trotted down the mountain with his mother. he had been asking for his daddy for days and no one had been able to make him understand that daddy wasn't coming back.

half-way down, nephew broke away from his mother and ran toward a stand of trees and bushes. "Hi daddy!" his mom started crying, but he just stood there as if listening to someone no one else could see or hear.

after a few moments, he turned and walked back to his mother, looking back over his shoulder once, to wave and say "bye, daddy!"

he didn't ask for him again.

children haven't yet learned to stop believing. in what, i don't know. but they still listen. and they still believe. and they share.

Schmutzie said...


amy said...

chills. amazing. truth is truth.

Erin said...

wow, how cool. You put it so beautifully as always.

Kim said...

Wow. Lovely, really lovely. How very cool, that final reassurance. Awesome.

susiej said...

And now i have chills... nice and sweet, and how sweet of him to check in...

hannah said...

This is unbelievably moving. You are a talented writer!


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