Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Soften a bit until we all just get along

Parenting refresher #3...Last time I wrote about feelings.

This one I am actually doing pretty well. Being the power tripper that I am, I think I am learning to give Finn choices (that I approve of) and he feels empowered. I mean think about how little control these wee ones have in daily life... No wonder he freaks out in glee when he can choose his own skivvies in the morning!
These small peeps are walking around in a scripted, dictated world and any chance we can extend the decision making or reasoning stick- the better! I try and map out the day during the week so that we float along on a schedule- but Finn can veer from it if he is inclined by creativity. I try and allow him to mess up my perfect plans and remember that he needs choices and he is allowed to not always like my ideas. I can recall so easily how lesson plans fell apart for me sometimes and I had to be ready to sprint in another direction. My ability to be spontaneous was one of my best attributes in education. Choices. Change. Flow. I have started to think like this again.
Would you like to sort yr G.G. grandpa's magic buttons or paint with watercolors?

Only he didn't want to sort them. He wanted to make a wish on each one, carry around a bunch in his pocket, and tell them stories. You go Finn. I would have never come up with such an imaginative plan for the magic buttons. I would have only been working with quantification and sorting...but you broke the day open wide and found a whole button universe to reside inside... I'm so glad I listen to you.


TZT said...

That is beautiful! What is it about little circles and spheres that is so, so magical?

Do let me know if you'd still like to set up a playdate sometime. My next couple of weeks are more relaxed than usual.

vincent said...

Choice is good. I have always given my oldest girl the choice of almost everything, and she has yet to fail me. She is wise beyond her years!!! Children do tend to learn what they live no matter what, although, in the end. Tyler told me that a night ago he heard my oldest daughter belting out The Indigo Girls. Hark!!! This gives one great hope for the future. Good taste runs deep, and I know you agree!!! :)) Wow!!! I never would have dreamed years ago sitting in a beachside bar in St. Augustine with two beautiful ladies that played classical guitar singing The Indigo Girls, that years later I would have a 16 year-old daughter in love with them too!!!

Our Crooked Tree said...

We offer all sorts of choices so he knows we get to make some choices on his behalf every now and then:) My husband thought I was goign over board at one point but now sees the benefits! Love the button story! To be so creative and thoughtful; oh what will he be when he grwos up?

Momo Fali said...

Isn't it amazing what kids can come up with?! Buttons as entertainment! Now that I think about it, I remember going through a big hat box full of buttons that my Grandma had...gazing at them and feeling their different textures.

Liz said...

What a wonderful story! I mean seriously, he's making wishes on buttons! That's a children's book waiting to be written if ever there was one.

I've been exploring giving Dash choices lately, but I've noticed it only really works when I only offer two options. Any more and smoke starts to come out of his ears.


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