epilogue

I thought about writing something really witty about the end of NABLOPOMO
that lasted about twelve seconds
I will just say
I actually loved posting everyday
It was good for me
I met some cool cats and discovered tons of cool blogs

Things running round my mind:

last night I attended a scrapbook party.
I know. I ain't got no alibi cept it was at my friend Kate's and she had pie.
I made some stuff.
Also today through the mail shoot came the Thomas the Tank engine replacements.
I eye them suspiciously. Are they really new ones? Does the lead still live there?
Also today I ran out of my favorite hand cream SKIN FOOD.(actually all purpose cream) It sits sad and crumpled and I must have more today. Weleda is my favorite skin care line ever and the diaper cream they make can morph yr child's bum from a scary place to perfection in nearly one use. Try it, you'll like it.

small things

I am trying to stop sucking from the teat of Starbucks. It has been a week since I last had a cup. I am brewing it at home or making UK instant. It is hard, but I am saving cash. It is really hard- did I already say that? I live next door. UGH.
Anyhoo, I have been saving my cups for projects and found that they make excellent paint cups for Finn. I also have been keeping toilet and paper towel rolls...Any cool ideas of some projects or repurposing? I am currently saving Newcastle Brown bottle caps for a Newkie Brown snake for Joe. Knitting Iris on Flickr has some cool ones...
Yeah, Small things. Today is a good day. Do a twirl.

runs parallel to the selvage

OK. So sewing involves some precision and the art of focus. I think my sewing class is like therapy for me. I am forced to be quiet, listen, and sink into the background. All good things sometimes. I adore our instructor and I am taking this class with a pal...Yeah, it completely rocks. Amy Butler I am going to make you proud. My head is already spinning with all the creations to come.

I just keep looking at the prize list

NABLOPOMO is getting harder each day. I keep focusing on the chance of winning a prize from the divine prize list...So, I was tagged by the sublime susiej for a meme on "7 weird random things" about myself. I am all weird so this should not be hard.

1.I do not share milk based products with anyone.

2. I didn't really watch TV until I was 25 years old and now I am a tivo whore with a sick predilection for reality shows.

3. I lived on a Greek island once and made money by guarding the gate of a very exclusive hotel by night and cashing currency by day-often screwing up with my math disability.

4.My most lucrative job in college was that of a singing telegram/flower & balloon delivery girl at Milo's balloons. I would dress as either a giant chicken or gorilla and bring joy to kids, convalescents, and rowdy men in bars.

5. My life goal is to have an essay read on NPR.

6. I have an extensive collection of photographs of myself with country and western singers and legends as my parents made me go to "Fan Fair" in Nashville in the 80's and I laugh at the chubby girl smiling with Loretta Lynn, Conway Twitty, and a million others. I may post them someday for fun.

7. In the late 90's I once sold Levis in British pubs for extra money, including the ones off my bum.

There, I now tag Kate, Regan, lucyknows, and Fluidpudding.

Make a recycled advent board

I paused and fingered the shiny mirrored advent calendar at Target...I longed for Garnet Hill's treasures...But, I decided in the spirit of handmade holidays that we would make one. Here it is...
old wooden board, used baby food containers, glue, paint, scraps of fabric, some numbers printed off computer, and candy from the elves... Finn painted the plastic containers and then we hot glued em to the board and decorated the lids and TA DA...snapped on the lids! Easy peasy a three year old can do it....
Happy Holidays :) Shiny decor worthy advent calendars can wait- this is the real deal. We are sitting on the floor looking at it now.

Father Christmas scares the hell out of my kid

perfect day
my birthday
We had one of those days that sometimes are few and far between in the days of kid rearing....everyone was happy and content and the day was a constant flow of good feelings and Joe and I and looked at each other and were humbled by the realness of our little life....These are our kids and they are amazing. Smiling and cheerful and full of beans. Finn gave the elf 5 bucks and told her to give it to a poor kid for a toy for Christmas...I cried in the street. I cried because he listens to the things I am trying to teach him and although he is so small and so slight against the world, he is wise.... I could live this day over and over.

thank you note day

Our neighbors gave Finn this little gem yesterday
cleaning out basements unearths treasures
we are making tomato ice cream and turnip apple juice in his tiny new kitchen
merci
merci
merci
I am reading this book "Well-Behaved Women Seldom Make History" by Laurel Thatcher Ulrich and it is rocking my world. I had the phrase bumper sticker three cars back (old Volvo I miss you) and I am so so enjoying the book. I was close friends with a Virginia Woolf scholar during my formative years and this book goes into the Shakespeare's sister theory so beautifully. I know my friend A would love this book. I wish I had her address nowadays. It smacked me back into my feminist theory classes and opened my eyes a bit wider to books I had forgotten I loved.

appalachian beauty

Joe the Brit calls me his Appalachian beauty as he thinks I from the sticks.
I am . Logan, Ohio. A little town in southeastern Ohio where we had "fair days" and "hunting days" off school. Today I live up to name as I had to trade in my Subaru Outback for a new giant truck for the business. Outback had blown a head gasket and I could not pour anymore money into it even though I loved it so...
The truck is kind farmers, contractors, and country folk drive. Big ass truck. The kind that the whole family and a blue tick hound can fit in nicely. I now will drive the old work truck as my car. I am laughing as I think about me and the kids rolling up to play dates and the museum in the work truck. We will be smashed in and a bit country. All kidding aside...the truck is awesome and I am happy for Joe. For me, not so much..but happy for Joe.
In honor of the two pick up family day I shall play Merele Haggard, Ronnie Milsap, and Wayland Jennings all day long.
Yeehaw!

the advent of gameboy

As we ate turkey
Finn discovered game boy via cousin Bryce
just like I told him Coca Cola was cow pee
I told him looking at the tiny screen
would slowly rot his brain
into mushy cauliflower
rot or not
the day was simply perfect
kisses and old granny
and a belly full of pumpkin roll
just perfect

be the change you wish to see in the world

Predictable but comforting. Cutting small turkeys from paper and trying harder this year to explain Thanksgiving. Much to be thankful for and it has been a year of trying to remember this all days and not just the fat turkey dinner day. The babe is feeling better and we will dream of noodles prepared by the 87 year old hands and sweets from Uncle Carlos...Have a wonderful holiday and thank you so much for reading my little blog. xxoo amy

Ear Infection Hour 72

My bags have bags

Children See. Children Do.

This is really powerful.
I feel terrible when I do/say things around my kids that are whacked.
Like today when I spit at my car and cursed it.
It is broken and going to cost a lot of money-
but I should not act like I do.
We are all sick and grumpy today.
But, we are happy and healthy(the colds will lift)
We are blessed.
I just thought I would share that PSA
bc it really speaks volumes.

Gifting

Sarah and I have been friends since college and every November we find some time to sit down and celebrate our birthdays that are just 12 days apart...I like it that she gets her bday first as she can tell me what it is like to be older :) We drank coffee and shopped small thrifty places like MadForMod (holy Bertoia Chair I loved!) and SOBO and Sparrowfish and had a blast. I gave her a Nikki McClure print and the 2008 doobleh-vay planner I created for her busy ass attorney lifestyle and she gave me "Deceptively Delicious" (I screamed in pleasure) and Stila lip glaze. I am in heaven. All night I just pucker my lips and pout while planning purees. I heart November.

a box full of the future

Finnian was gifted with an antique box of child sized tools by our friend Joe Shepard. Joe is my Joe's business partner and Finn refers to him as either "old Joe" or "handsome Joe" as those are the nicknames we call him. (I call him the latter.) Joe was at an auction and found these for Finn and the boy could not be prouder. Finn says that he can now be like dad and fix and build and make. This is true. Under the wise master carpenter that is his dad, he can soon start his apprenticeship. I think it is cool that Joe will pass on his talents to our kids and arm them, for at the very least, the ability to fix shit around their own homes someday- But, if he wanted to become a carpenter and not the haute couture designer, plastic surgeon, or rocket scientist I hope for him it would really be OK. I love that my husband loves what he does and that his work sustains us and fulfills his passions. I love that all over this city there are buildings and houses that were touched by the art of Joe. I think in this life we ought to find what it is that we love to do and do it all the way. I heart my carpenter and I thank you handsome Joe for the box of possibility for young Finn

Chercher midi à quatorze heures

Mom
I got what you need
caffeine
a Friday bursting into the weekend
small kisses and cuddles
This whole NABLOPOMO does not result in sublime posts everyday
but it is discipline
the kind I need to jump start my 2008 novel
the one that sits lonely on another hard drive
wishing so
badly
to be free

National Love Yr Quirks Day

I just made it up
I was playing with my camera
and caught my gap
my large gap
some men have loved it
my dentist has persuaded me to close it
I have resisted
I have grown to like it
you know what they say about gap toothed women
Chaucer liked it
and so do I

About to have a closer relationship with the postman

I have a multitude of holiday stuff to get rolling on. I am supposed to have UK gifts for Joe's family out in the mail next week and begin my handmade holiday craft extravaganza today. I am making a bunch of cool BEND THE RULES projects for folks and also creating my own version of the slingshot planner for some chicks I love. I have at least 14 parcels to mail in the next 4 weeks. I love the holidays, but they are starting to roll faster and faster and Finn wants a Father Christmas world in his room and twinkling lights and other such monstrosities. We also have to decide on who is getting angel kissed this year (We play a lil secret cheer up Santa on Christmas eve to someone we think needs it...) and decide on what the boys are getting for the holidays. I have lofty goals of a gingerbread house. But first I must go buy some beer and control myself from writhing on the floor in pleasure about tonight's Project Runway premiere.



We are also in a contest. Wanna vote? It will make you feel good. Click here.

The Next Food Star

My pal Avesta is trying to get on the food network's next food star reality show. She is a great chef- as is her mama...They taught me all about Kurdish food growing up in the not multi-cultural city of Logan, Ohio. I used to buy grape leaves in a jar and leave em on Shawbo's stoop with a note pleading for "domas"- (the most amazing grape leaf stuffed yum yum). I am sorta Kurdish through association. I can make good rice now and roll my hips and curse a bit in Kurdish after 20 years. You should check her out:
http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=21978103

under the arch way and dreaming

We have already starting to adorn doorways and find tiny excuses for making gingerbread men and stars and little father Christmas men...December is still too far away for us. We are not content to think about turkey. This year he will crane his neck upwards and wish for the tent light of stars to open and show him the sleigh. This year he is three and he believes. This year so rocks.

dust settles

I had woman time today and it feels so good. I am estrogen charged from three hour coffee talks with my two friends. Starbucks and noise and chatting like hens. I need to take more time like that- to just sit back in comfy couches and listen to the women. I found out that a friend I care for much will soon move far away and the old me would have been suspicious of that step for her, but the me now is happy and content to see her happy. My other pal is on the verge of motherhood and I could about choke with anticipation for her and her partner. I loved watching their animated faces pour out stories and talk about the NOW of life. What is happening all around is alive and full of good. We were talking about how it is so important to really feel that happiness for others, about how some people don't or won't...and I think it stifles yr own life not to be able to truly relish in others delights. I think I am starting to finally stop judging others and myself and live this life and feel this life and understand this life. I think it is true that the 30's are for realization of self and if you can let it happen...you will like what you discover. More than you thought. Aren't ya happy for me?

Cyndi Lauper and 100 kisses

"I drove all night" is playing in our home and I had forgotten to remember how much I loved this song...it embodies the lust of my youth. Lust for life and all the things I wanted. "What in this world keeps us form tearing apart? No one can move me the way that you do...." Sing Lauper sing. Some wistful days I allow myself to retrieve and hold suspended the many memories of reckless abandon I encountered in my life before Joe. I was on a search, always driving towards this lust I could not even explain to myself. I mostly wrecked the car, but I am made of these memories of pain and delirium and journey quests and I really do honor them in a small corner of my mind. "I think about you when the night is cold and dark" "nothing erases this feeling between me and you"
Tonight Finn asked for 100 kisses and I indulged him. I thought about the me way back then when I was not the me I am now and I am so glad my sometimes crooked lil path led me to this moment where I smell the small sweat of a boy's neck while I kiss him 100 times.

I want it sew bad

My fabulous sister in law Terry in Reading, England is such a crafty lady. She made these lovelies...She is a master of the home. All things. I adore her and she has turned me on to all sorts of fabulousness...(Nigella kitchen tools!!!!!) I can't wait for 11/26...The day after my birthday I begin my studies at "The School of Sewing Arts" at my local Stitching Post. I am so eager to be a crafty bitch.

http://www.cathkidston.co.uk is where Stanley lives I think :)

and i feel fine

We have been asking questions about the world and space and relativity as of late. I am actually enjoying the stimulation of grey matter. I have been forced to run to Google certain planets and even geographical locations. I love that Finn is starting to piece together the idea of a planet and the planet slices apart in his mind and forms countries and islands and small places like a town. He is far from mastery and sometimes says we live on The Capital Planet.(Buzz Light year) Yet, he is starting to find himself in this world, slowly realizing the vastness of this life and what it might mean to be one small boy. Today we got a 'Doctors Without Borders" map of the world poster in the mail and it was as if we had opened up a card containing a fountain of sugar. He said that he had been wishing for this. Wishing to hold the world. At what age do we all stop opening our mouths and speaking like poems?

The Daring Book for Girls

So Mother-talk.com gave me the chance to review this cool book for their site! The Daring Book for Girls by Andrea J. Buchanan and Miriam Peskowitz
I had recently purchased "The Dangerous Book for Boys" for my nephew Jacob in England and was thrilled to see the girl counterpart to this new phenomena. I will first say that I being a big girl of 33 years old LOVED this book and could not put it down until I had devoured it in one evening. I know there has been a bunch of controversy surrounding these books and a lot of feminists have taken issue with the facts that they exclude and reaffirm the differences. Like yeah-they do and I think it is alright. I think adults should take a look at what this book is celebrating. Real authentic creative play! I think that The Daring Book could be enjoyed by a boy and the Dangerous book by a girl. Easily. They are about the realness of childhood that our society is so quickly destroying. This book is an adventure that does not require a web code download, scads of money, or a trip to Target. Our children are dashing through childhood and need to slow down and live and it is not just some sort of nostalgia that we adults are pushing, it is the truth. Beautiful girls enjoy this time as you again will never again be this free.

This book gives this message and I pray we can put down our agendas and let girls and boys enjoy this. I flipped through the pages and was taken back to my own girlhood and smiled at the cartwheel section (I still cannot do one...but the book did help) and the slumber party section that is still such a universal hoot. I learned how to track an animal, tie a sari, and be a spy all before bedtime. I appreciated the sprinkling of feminism and woman hero's throughout this book and it seemed that the authors thought about the world of girlhood and included wonderful multicultural sections and information for all girls to process. The sheer amount of historical knowledge presented was awesome and I learned a bunch of tidbits from my own perusal. I think this book should be added to the children's canon and admired and read by adults. This book will make you want to get a Swiss army knife. Perhaps even a pink one.
Thanks Mothertalk for this cool book! I will be giving my copy away to one lucky reader. Leave a comment and I will choose one reader who has a KID in their life who would like this for the holidays! Good Luck.

I had to divert my eyes from the other mothers

I signed Finnian up for a Whole Food half pint cooking class for this afternoon. He was brimming with enthusiasm all morning to cook. Finn loves to pull his little wooden stool up to the counter and assist me daily in some form of cookin creations and we were so exited for the class today. We left an hour early to enjoy sampleville that is Whole Paycheck. I love that you can eat yr way around the store...you know they are so damn awesome there that they will open a wine for you to try! They are the loveliest type of store...
So, the class was loud and rowdy as expected...we made turkeys out of gelato containers and then filled em with organic popcorn and then sampled a smorgasbord of fall treats. The whole time Finn kept asking when we were cooking and I just kept pushing organic milk and cookies in him. We walked out and he said this. (loudly)

"Bollocks. I wanted to cook"

I bit my tongue and ran out into the blustery cold air, pushing the cart as fast as I could.

I like big butts and I cannot lie

I am amazed every day by the internet and technology.
I found this....
I am sure I am 700 days behind the times and this has been making people already scratch heads...but- WOW. Even the Christians are using any platform available anymore. Witness!

Laura Veirs - Pink Light @100 Club

Thank you dear Regan for making me listen to this woman
I am into her
tiny lady crush here
Sunday is exploding into papers, coffee, kisses, fat baby thighs, winter wishes, kisses, and soup simmering
life is so good
right now
this moment

It's scaly under my love

It all started when I made a flippant comment to the lovely fluidpudding about her eczema and how it could be worse..it could be on her booty. Well, I now have my own private eczema and it is on my leg and my hand and my thass (that is my ass and thigh region that are joined like Pangaea to form super chunk). I am so sad. Mostly about it being on my hand. It is centered on my left ring finger and I want so badly to remove my wedding ring and coat my hand in Vaseline...but I only took my ring off that one time the firefighter had to cut it off when I was pregnant with my first son bc I had gained those 70lbs and all...I didn't like it. I am freaky and studied feminist theory and do not like to be told what to do...but I love to wear my ring. It makes me feel grounded. I have been married to this man for almost 9 years and for the first 5 years I wore only a simple platinum band bc we were avant garde and bought land with the money for a ring... I now have a lervly diamond ring but I just cherish that simple wedding band and the humble yet real beginning it represents. It just sucks that it itches like hell underneath all that good memory shit.
Anyone know some good remedies for eczema?

Teach the world to sing in perfect harmony

I am about to take the boys to the doctor. It is the 9 month appointment for the wee one and they both need flu shots (or jabs as dad says- freaky Brit)
anyhoo
Jabs suck for Finn.
He starts flirting with anxiety the night before he knows we are due to go the the doctor-like last night when he briefed me on the evils of a needle and how buzz light year has enough power to resist the flu and snow. Apparently the snow is the source of flu? So, he tells me how he will be fine without one and I just shake my head and then it comes out of my mouth like it always does
"We will have Coke afterwards"
shit
again
My children eat very well and do not have soda. They do not have processed foods. They are Stonyfield farm poster children and love veggies. Yet, sometimes I cave and let Finn have a coke when we get shots or something traumatic like that. When Finn was very small and asked for soda- we told him it was cow pee and he stayed away, but then one time he snagged my can and tasted the liquid crack and ever since it is more precious than candy. He has had about 4 cokes in his life and he can wax poetic on each frozen moment in time. He might grow up to be like me. A beverage whore. I will try and work on this.

Today I will bring a red can of the cold stuff and when we walk out to the parking lot to leave, when the tears are flowing and we all feel bad, I will crack the can and we will chug Coke together. The sun will be shining and it will be like a coke commercial from the 70's. I know it's wrong, but I can't wait.

Wicked Little Wee One

Batmom and batman had a blast on the first real Halloween...last year...I just don't think he got it. I know he didn't get much candy...This year it was gluttony galore and I loved watching him walk out into the world...I loved how his slight "trick or treats" turned into bellows and his tiny fists beat doors impatiently. He started avoiding eye contact and heading straight for bowls of full size bars. At least he did yell "thanks dude" most times.
but one thing annoyed me. I was dubbed batmom and not batgirl. Batgirl is sexy and lithe. Batmom is like fatmom. Grrrrrrr.
Get this freaking candy outta here..