Last walk of 2007

Happy New Year to you all!
Thank you so much for reading and communicating with me- It has been stellar!
2008 is going to be a good year- I can feel it...

scenes from our last walk of the year
in our neighborhood
near the Frank Lloyd Wright style homes we covet
sparkling sunlight
batman
love
all around

Indigo Girls - Columbus 10.21.06 - Watershed

I was at this concert- so close that I could see the halos bouncing off their heads- I am pretty sure that the terrible background singers were not us as I was quite pregnant and not consuming cheap beers.

Every five years or so I look back on my life and I have a good laugh
I've been a bit mardy the last couple days
I don't wanna face facts
my investment house is turning into simply an unsold house
and an additional mortgage
on the shoulders of one fine man
I should go back to work
I don't want to
I am here and it feels good
I think it is as it always is
really about me
I am finally
after all these years
writing that novel
and I don't wanna stop
tonight I drink wine and cry
and listen to the Indigo Girls and
find myself so very self absorbed
naughty mummy

My God Lily

old friends and a testosterone play date
once a year we get together
we used to drink tall beers
smoke cigs
talk about love
nowadays we open juice boxes
control crowds
and marvel at what a year can do
growing
growing
growing
Ms Thing and I used to perform many dramatic dialogues back in cow town
we used to say things like
"Dooblehvay" and others would wrinkle foreheads
at least we always got each other
the boys enjoyed the day
but not nearly as much as me

Don't let it get away...

I am sitting here trying to get the urge to rise and clean the counters and tables that still hold the residue of Christmas. Dried Yorkshire pudding batter and many empty bottles of Stella splay out and mix with the china and paper plates and look like a great time. It was the best. How could it not have been?
People are well. My old Gran could still climb the stairs and Blaise is here this year. My sister is officially a master baker and my mom is now in a size 6. Finn gasped on Christmas morning when he saw his stocking. The gasp of a believer. Blaise took another few steps. I drank wine with reckless abandon. I lived under the mistletoe.


amusement all around him

official short hair


a space bubble looks like this

we danced all day

more careful than usual for Father Christmas

banging on the drum for you Uncle Simon

papa and gran and old gran and the new sled

weekly digestion

sorry for the repost- was having some tech issues..thanks Ericka for noticing :)

Merry Christmas

I love you dear blog and I hardly ever get too busy to find a few moments for you- but I will kiss you now and tuck you into a state of slumber for a few days. There is so much to be done. I will come back to you after Christmas and tell you things. xxxooo

Peace Pole

Little Gracie

Rolo Pretzel Turtles Damn You!

Red Chair thrift

That every wish would be heard and answered

Soft trees were fun to make
with a little boy who sat on my lap
and pushed fabric through the machine
Sew many peeps made these this year...lookie here

This week is getting busy
But, I'm Still reading...

And I am also doing something I don't do nearly enough...I am saying little prayers to the universe...I have a list that I am working on. It has selfish things like sell my other house, smooth thighs, and more joy to all around me...but, it also has important things- things like family health and certain individuals I know to find peace. It has wishes for far away friends. It wants for addictions to cease. It holds hopes for those who want babies badly and those who have small ones tucked in bellies now. It is about those who are so far flung at war and how it can be easy to forget what IS GOING ON as we are living sheltered from it as Bush wants. It has some wishes for those strangers I have come to adore in the blogosphere like bossy and jen&tonic. It speaks to those who have lost and those who are lost in my life. I am trying to be listen. To God. I am trying to listen and strain my ear. To turn it to the goodness and learn how to help.

Holidy Traditions 2007

Thanks to Meg over at www.montessoribyhand.blogspot.com for organizing this fabulous Holiday Swap. I think it amazing and I had to share my goodies that arrived safely in the mail from the other side of the country. Cindy from Lucyknows rocked it out this year by sending me a box full of love. Seriously, I want to be a part of her family. I have recipes, advent guides, activities, gift tags, baking cups, holiday paper fun, a new stocking, Holiday Cd's, and best of all a new piece of holiday art....I feel very blessed. I think the other wonderful thing is that Cindy and I will continue to visit each others blogs and learn and discover. She is an amazing woman and I am so thrilled her name came out of the hat for me.
Happy Christmas Cindy and thanks again Meg- Rock on.

In other news, Auntie Vicks came over to make a gingerbread house last night. The big boys left and we built one very complicated mess. Apparently we needed the carpenter. We used the roof as the walls and had to convince Finn that we were constructing an ancient British castle ruin. As we opened the candy bags he obliged. It was fun though. Who need a roof?

Weaving time in a tapestry

The Essential Simon and Garfunkel has been blaring all weekend.
(like seriously- drag it out and I dare you not to feel)
It has been good.
Finn and I made Gingerbread men.
It was the first time for both of us.
Why didn't my mom ever make these?
They were not nearly the pain in the ass I suspected.
I can't write the goodness of these past days.
Just peek at it.

the postman cometh

UK box from Gran brought a "bobby" suit for Finn. He is thrilled that in addition to all of his superpowers he may now jail folk.
It rocks.

Holly King and Oak King " A solstice duel"

So Finn is fond of all things pointy and sharp. He loves a stick, a sword, a light saber. He wants to fight and wrestle and dominate the universe. Dress up is his one true love. I love this about him as he is able (on most days) to separate the warrior from the pal. Yet I feel like I am constantly stifling his creativity and knights tale mindset he has acquired with requests to STOP IT!. I think if his brother were older and could do more than fall over on head that I would not mind the creative play. I found something to do this year to celebrate solstice that will involve a battle- a duel- a chance to use his small plastic sword and armor.
We are going to begin the family tradition of a backyard winter solstice duel between the holly king and the oak king. I love the story...
Anglo-Celtic mythology metaphorically portrays the cycle of seasons as a recurring conflict between the Holly King, who reigns during the half-year of waning sunlight, and his brother the Oak King, who reigns during the half-year of waxing sunlight. In their midwinter clash, the Holly King yields to the Oak King, even as the old sun dies so that the new sun can be reborn. As deep winter approaches, the Holly King withdraws into contemplation. Within his chalice, he nurtures the nascent new sun, and perhaps sees visions and dreams of the year to come.
Finn is so going to love this. I wanna be one of the kings. I wanna make the neighbors stare harder. I see crowns and robes and hot chocolate and photographs I will share.

Rainy Tuesday Morning

We walked the rain today and the library was especially full of gifts and goodies and everywhere we turned there were books and Cd's we wanted. All was great until Finn acted like he was three years old (Oh yes- he is) and screamed and stomped and kicked and fell to the ground in agony when someone else (how dare them!) pushed the handicap button that makes the door purr open...I tried to reason with him (I am dumb) and explain that he could push it next time...Nope- the wailing began again in the middle of the lobby and the eyes darted to us...I told him to be quiet and reminded him where we stood.
Shh. Library voices. Shh.
He was relentless and I should have not expected him to come over to me and work it out...I should not have. I snapped and grabbed his arm and pushed the door open with the stroller and basically looked like a frazzled freak. I raised my voice as I had just reprimanded him for and said, "Finnian move!".
I knew I had hurt his tiny arm. Not hurt really in the sense of damage, but hurt more in the sense of disappointment and shock. He cried for a bit outside as he hugged me tighter than he had in days and I felt the guilt wash down my head and into my tense shoulders and it pulled me down to a squat. Down to his level. He took my cheeks by his soft small hands and told me that he loved me, but I hurt his feelings. Shit. I know. I apologized to him on the pavement and thought about no matter how many times I keep messing up...I am learning.
I am learning to say sorry.
I am learning to love him and the other boys around me like they want to be loved.
I am learning but it stings.

We took out the camera and shot some pics and tried out our new rain boots. Things got better quickly...

Finn taking photos as we cross the rainy wet Tuesday street.
Finn says the blue on this fireman hook up (his words) is lovely. He is so like Joe. Its lovely that they use that word so much.



The books of the week. Alice you goddess, a recommendation from Piper, and a book from a fascinating blog.

white eyebrows and a clutch

In the kitchen of Mrs. Clause I was transfixed not on the sugar cookies to decorate, but her fabulous white eyebrows.
I am making a funky lil clutch. Sewing is hard. Design is fun.
Sunday and the day is smooth...

handmade felt birds and a glitter tree

Joe made fun of me for buying sticks at the winter farmers market a few weeks back. I bought a bundle of dogwood branches for 5 bucks. Finn wanted a glitter tree for his room. I made some felt birds yesterday and we all got crazy with the hot glue gun today. The transformation of his room is complete. It is very jolly in there and in this small corner- a bit fabulous and sophisticated if you ask me. The kid has taste.

Just how I like a Friday

1/2 Day off for dad
holiday crafting morning
making treats
and listening to
"A very Special Christmas 3"
and Sara McLachlan "Wintersong"

coffee hot
frozen toes
paper chains



German Village is having
Village Lights...Shop, Dine & Stroll Sunday, December 9
6 PM - 10 PM
Business Association Event
Location: Throughout the Village
Admission: No charge; stroll around and enjoy the Village and enjoy.
Description: The sound of nearby carolers, the smell of roasted chestnuts, and the glow of thousands of luminaries await you on this evening of holiday hospitality. Our charming neighborhood shops and restaurants welcome you with holiday cheer and unique offerings as only German Village can. Enjoy hot cider as you take a winters walk along our famously bricked streets.

You can stroll by our house and buy it.
Happy weekend xxxx

A sampling of jobs

I was thinking about jobs lately. I will return to work someday. I don't know what I want to be when I grown up, but I know some things I have already been. What have you been?


Age 16
Dog Sitter for aging couple in suburbs. The house smelled of Listerine, aqua net, and fur. I would sit on slip covered sofas and watch VHS. I would snoop. I learned that some people are dull and do not have secret drawers.

Age 17
Cashier. Dipped cones for busloads of old people visiting our local scenic wonderland. They wanted butter pecan, but said Pecahn. A very stifling experience in a red striped ruffled apron. I apprenticed the call in sick voice that I would eventually master. I learned that old men are still horny.

Age 18
Camp Counselor at Presbyterian Church Camp. I was sent to work away the summer at my moms friend’s church camp. My parents made me go and dropped me off in the thick of the woods. I smoked on the roof of the tabernacle and made out frequently with the Russians for Jesus exchange student Vladislav. I did learn how to make a God’s eye.

Age 19-23
Milo’s Balloon Entertainer. Dressing in either giant chicken or gorilla costume, I would deliver sentiments of love and celebratory balloon bouquets to convalescents and high school cheerleaders. I venture to say, most humiliating job to date. At times I would be accosted by large groups of children or drunks. I learned how to run.

Age 23
Fine dining server. Hard job for a slob as uniforms were to be neat. I once offered fresh ground pepper to a woman and I as I began to grind it over her salad nicoise- I noticed that I was grinding a camel light cigarette into her food. I kept my smokes and grinder in same pocket. I perfected the art of bullshitting.

Age 24-33
Inner city educator. There is pleasure in teaching. I see minds open and know things click. I am reminded that I came from privilege and it hurts the tiny corners of my self. I give away a lot of time and money and thought to these kids. I lose a child to senseless gunfire one sweaty summer and nothing much has ever been the same. Promises to not let them down do fall apart as I slowly shed the last of my invincible skin.

Present
SAHM. Finn and Blaise- three years and ten months respectively are my new students. I am instructing them on all things. Today we learned about Bob Dylan, the solstice, and glitter. I am still learning.

blue eyed love affair with red beets

as it gets

He really is cool.
Randomly I burned myself very badly on a single piece of linguine as it stuck to my thumb today. I was not aware that could happen.
Me and my boyfriend Mr. Hay have been watching the sky turn
there will be snow later

My eyes are bleeding

I read like three books at a time. This week it is four. I really f with my brain doing this. I lie in my bed devouring the books until my eyes burn burn burn. I have been doing this since I was a kid. I love pushing it to the level of pain that feels like blood will soon pour from my eyes. I have even started to wear my reading glasses. My dreams last night were filled with puff pastry, coriander, sexy times with Irish men, aspergers syndrome, and veiled ladies.
I am reading:
1.Nigella Express by Nigella Lawson (thanks Jenn!) Loving it as she has a croque monsieur recipe along with a ton of other quick and snappy meals. I am into it with pen and paper.
2. Persian Girls by Nahid Rachlin A memoir I can tell will be tragic as it unfolds.
3. Tara Road by Maeve Binchy Yeah, I caught the tale end of the Lifetime movie with the perfectly coiffed Andie McDowell and I wanted to read it. I like it.
4. Look me in the Eye by John Elder Robison I am IN LOVE with this book so far- I think this guy can write and I prefer this to his bro's tale of insanity. (Running with Scissors) Laughing out loud. It makes you look through a new window this book. Get it.