"I drove all night" is playing in our home and I had forgotten to remember how much I loved this song...it embodies the lust of my youth. Lust for life and all the things I wanted. "What in this world keeps us form tearing apart? No one can move me the way that you do...." Sing Lauper sing. Some wistful days I allow myself to retrieve and hold suspended the many memories of reckless abandon I encountered in my life before Joe. I was on a search, always driving towards this lust I could not even explain to myself. I mostly wrecked the car, but I am made of these memories of pain and delirium and journey quests and I really do honor them in a small corner of my mind. "I think about you when the night is cold and dark" "nothing erases this feeling between me and you"
Tonight Finn asked for 100 kisses and I indulged him. I thought about the me way back then when I was not the me I am now and I am so glad my sometimes crooked lil path led me to this moment where I smell the small sweat of a boy's neck while I kiss him 100 times.